4 Critical Skills Every Anxious Person Needs

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“Here are four critical skills every anxious person will benefit from, along with real-life examples of how to use them.

1. The ability to identify a more likely explanation

When people are anxious, they often jump to an explanation that isn't the most likely one.

Try: When a worry presents itself in your mind, an essential skill is to notice if the explanation your mind is generating isn't the most likely one. Then, identify what a more likely explanation is. It's ok if figuring this out takes you a few minutes, as it did for me in the example. Talking out your worry can help.

2. The ability to define your options

Folks who are anxious think they're problem-solving when what they're really doing is ruminating or worrying in a way that doesn't help their problem at all. Here's a quick self-check you can do: Ask yourself, "Have a defined my options for acting?"

Try: Usually, there isn't one magic option that will relieve all your fear. However, defining your options can often make the best way forward clear, stop worrying in its tracks, and allow you to focus on other valued thoughts and actions.

3. Knowing what's more important to you than avoiding anxiety

Try: Identify, "What is more important to me than avoiding anxiety?" This question comes from acceptance and commitment therapy. Give this a try now. When you master this skill, you'll use it again and again.

4. The ability to notice your hidden, perfectionistic "should" and "must" thoughts

Examples of these include:

• "I should be good at everything the first time I try it."

• "I must always know the perfect thing to say in social situations or I'll have no friends."

Try: You can swap "should" for "prefer," e.g., "I'd prefer to be good at everything the first time I try it." Then generate more compassionate, more reasonable self-talk.“

Read the complete article at Psychology Today

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💬 What are your perfectionistic "should" and "must" thoughts and how can you reframe them?