Are You Helping or Interfering?
"It’s wonderful to live in a world where so many people help others so often. Lots of people devote a great deal of time to providing assistance and support to others.
Given how much time we spend helping people, you might expect we would be pretty expert at it by now. Unfortunately, helping efforts do not always have the intended effects. Sometimes, apparent helping can cause more harm than good.
Helping occurs when a person uses something external to them to achieve their goals, chase their dreams, or meet their targets better than they could previously. If something interrupts or impedes their goal pursuit it will not be helpful.
The difference, then, between helping and interference has to do with the goals of the person receiving the help. If something promotes goal achievement, it will be helpful. Those things that stall the achievement of goals will be unhelpful.
This means that the intentions of the helper are not the crucial factor in determining the success or otherwise of helping efforts. It doesn’t matter how sincerely a helper wants to help or how diligently they persist with their helping strategies. If what they are doing is not experienced as helpful by the person being helped, it is not helping.
So how can you be a better helper? Make sure what you’re doing is what the helpee wants you to do. Get the best idea you can before you even start about what the other person wants and then check in along the way to make sure your helping efforts remain on track. Be sensitive to any indications from the person you’re helping that your current efforts might be brewing some resistance."
Hi @fruityPond7887 .
This is a great insight. Thank you for sharing😊 I find it very informative and helpful!
@UniversalSmile I am so glad you found the article helpful ❤️ Thank you for taking the time to read!
@fruityPond7887 I've always had doubts about whether I'm helping or interfering. I try to ask if they want help before helping so I can make sure. Thanks for sharing this article!
@comfortableNight4463 That's a great way to make sure you are helping the best way possible! You should be proud of yourself for taking those necessary steps 💙
@fruityPond7887 Thank you so much!
I try to help others but sometimes i can understand why it can be seen as non-helpful as well
most times people are just too polite to tell people exactly how they may want to be helped or are not sure of where to begin.......many times it is a crap shoot.
Example:
in a physical way to tackle a large task if i do not see their expectation or vision i can perhaps move something they wanted to stay or place items outside their vision of organization.... most easily corrected ....... however in help in ways of advice or verbal sharing opinion or relating a close story may derail their idea and not be helpful but could also show them a pitfall they did not consider.
@toughTiger6481 Exactly! It can be hard to understand someone's perspective unless they explicitly tell you what they would like from you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!❤️
@fruityPond7887 This is indeed something to consider when trying to help. Offering advice is not always helpful, as we can never know every detail of someone's life.
What's more important is to provide a listening ear and help the person see their options clearly through sharing them with you. Empathy and being non-judgemental is the key. It's challenging at first but if all our social interractions are based on positivity it always works eventually!
@calmDew1576 I love this! I think this is best way to practice active listening, especially here on 7 Cups! Positivity and empathy are both fool-proof ways of being there for someone! Thank you for sharing!
