Existential Perfectionism and Regret

"We have bought the message that our lives should be fulfilling, we should only do what we want to do, we should be happy all the time, and our work should never be boring. This is what I have called "existential perfectionism".

Existential Perfectionism

This idealized way of thinking involves seven illusions about life. Do you or anyone you know endorse any of these?

1. I should have an ideal life, and I am entitled to be happy and fulfilled.
2. I cannot stand being frustrated. In fact, I shouldn’t be frustrated.
3. I demand that I get things my way.
4. I complain about things quite a lot.
5. I am often dissatisfied that things aren’t the way I want them to be.
6. I keep chasing after goals and once I reach them, I want more. (Receding reference points)
7. I get disillusioned easily.

How can you learn to live in the real world and give up your demands and expectations of existential perfectionism?

This existential perfectionism underlies your complaints and lack of satisfaction. Rather than aim for the perfect life, aim for being flexible in living in the real world. Existential perfectionism doesn’t mean you have high standards. It means you have impossible expectations. Existential perfectionism proves that in real life, demanding more means we think we have less. It adds to our regret because real outcomes are not perfect."

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

Reflection:

Do you struggle with existential perfectionism?

#Perfectionism #Regret #EmotionalRegulation