Healthline: There Are 5 Love Languages — Here's How to Find Yours

Do you have a friend who says they’d take a clean kitchen over flowers any day when you’d prefer a little romance? That right there is a basic example of different love languages.

We all express and receive love differently and those differences could be the reason why feelings and good intentions sometimes get lost in translation.

Recognizing how you and a partner like to receive and express love could lead to more thoughtful connections and a healthy relationship — not to mention less explosive birthdays and Valentines.

There are five love languages as first introduced in 1992 by marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman in his book “The 5 Love Languages.”

The five love languages are:

1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Physical touch
4. Acts of service
5. Receiving gifts

The first love language is words of affirmation, and it’s all about expressing affection and appreciation through words, be it spoken, written, in texts, or all of the above.

This may be one of your love languages if you thrive on:

• being told that you’re appreciated
• hearing “I love you” often
• receiving words of encouragement

Quality time is the second love language and it’s precisely what you think: appreciating spending quality time together.

A person whose love language is quality time may feel most loved and appreciated when people they care about make time to be together and give their undivided attention.

Quality time may be one of your love languages if:

• You feel disconnected when you don’t spend enough time with a partner.
• Not spending enough time with your partner(s) affects your libido.
• You work hard at making time to spend with others.

Physical touch is the third love language. Let’s be clear that this is appropriate, consensual physical touch, which looks different depending on the situation and the type of relationship you have with the person.

For people whose love language is physical touch, expressing and receiving love through physical contact is important. Touch is the way they connect and feel connected with others.

Physical contact might be your love language if:

• You feel lonely or disconnected when you don’t get physical affection from your partner(s).
• You feel especially loved when a partner randomly kisses you or holds you.
• You consider yourself a “touchy-feely” person and enjoy PDA.

Acts of service is the fourth love language, and this one will resonate if you believe with your heart of hearts that actions always speak louder than words.

By actions, this means doing selfless, thoughtful things for the other person. Remember that these don’t need to be romantic in nature; friends and family relationships can benefit from these acts, too.

These are some signs that acts of service may be your love language:

• You’re over the moon when a partner helps you with a chore without having to be asked.
• You’re the person who shows up for a friend having a bad day.
• You’re always ready to jump in and do things for the people you care about.

Receiving gifts is the final love language. It needs to be said that this love language is not reserved for the greedy or so-called “gold diggers.”

For someone whose love language is gifts, it goes way beyond just wanting stuff. For this person, it’s all about the meaning behind the gift and the thought that went into it. No diamonds or luxury cars are required.

Signs that receiving gifts is your love language:

• When it comes to gift-giving, you put in the time to choose the most thoughtful gift.
• You treasure everything a partner gives you, no matter how small.
• You’re hurt when someone you love doesn’t commemorate an event with a thoughtful token.

The five love languages provide a great framework for understanding your relationship(s) and each other, but they don’t necessarily represent exactly how everyone wants to give and show love.

Chances are that you resonate strongly with more than one of the love languages and your partner(s) and other loved ones do, too.

Gender and cultural norms have also shifted quite a bit since the love languages were first introduced, and how we express love and how we want to be loved has shifted right alongside.

While we all have our own ways of expressing love, they don’t necessarily fit neatly into one of the five presets laid out in a time when women were historically more likely to serve and men were better equipped — financially speaking — to give gifts.

If you’re looking for better understanding and communication in a relationship, the original love languages can be a good start, but there are other tools you can use.

Read the full article here!

Reflection;

What do you think you love language is? And how do you express it?

#Love #LoveLanguage #Relationships