How Negative Self-Beliefs Can Impact Your Life

"How we see ourselves and how we engage with the world doesn’t happen by chance. Unconscious beliefs are learned in childhood as a function of conditioning. A similar pattern can also be seen in self-limiting beliefs which are based on negative thoughts, feelings, opinions, or values a person holds about themselves. Negative beliefs put limitations and unnecessary boundaries on what a person believes they are worth or what they think they are capable of doing.

There are several key factors in how self-limiting beliefs are learned and reinforced. These include:

• Making comparisons between self and others.
• An abusive or invalidating environment in childhood.
• Inherited (learned) biases.
• Mental health challenges, including depression, anxiety, or a personality disorder.
• Modeling and imitation from family, friends, colleagues, or community.

Three of the most common limiting self-beliefs often include the following:

I Am Not Good Enough. If a child is taught to wrongly believe they aren’t “good enough,” this can spiral into an adulthood of perfectionism, workaholism, procrastination, or self-sabotaging behaviors to either try and outrun feeling unworthy, or to “validate” their alleged lack of worth by engaging in self-defeating patterns.

I’m Fine. I Don’t Need Help. If a person was conditioned early in their lives to wrongly believe that asking for help or needing emotional support is a sign of weakness, this inevitably can condition a pattern of ego-based behavior, including being seen as arrogant or entitled. This conditioned mindset perpetuates denial and Ego-based self-serving behavior and can limit a person in emotional growth.

I Need To “Fix” This About Myself Before I Can Do That. If a person struggles with believing there is something they need to “fix” about themselves before they will be seen as worthy, then the underlying fears may be associated with being judged or fearing abandonment.

Healing the Pattern

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

Reflection:

What are some positive self-affirmations you tell yourself?

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