How We Decide Who Our Friends Are

In many ways, friendships have hazier boundaries than most other relationships. For example, our association with coworkers begins with our employment and ends when we leave our jobs (unless the coworkers have also become friends), and our relatives are our relatives from the time we are born until the time we die. The beginning and ending of friendships are rarely so clearly marked.

Changes in friendships usually accompany major life transitions such as going away to college or getting married, but maintaining old friendships throughout such transitions can help to buffer the stress of major life changes.

But where does friendship begin and acquaintanceship end? How can we tell when an acquaintanceship has crossed the line into friendship?

The answer to this question partially depends upon the cultural background of the people involved. Friendships are less easily established in cultures where kinship structures remain strong, and this is further complicated by the fact that friendship patterns can be quite different between social classes within the same culture. Americans tend to use the term “friend” more freely and loosely than people in non-western societies, possibly because the word “acquaintance” in English has acquired a rather cold connotation. Thus, we may use “friend” to put a more positive spin on our bonds with others.

Because friendships require an investment of time and other resources, we can only manage a limited number of them at one time. Consequently, researchers have suggested that we are continuously, if unconsciously, tracking how many friends we have so that we can keep that number in our comfort zone.

Interpersonal relationships featuring these qualities are well on the way to becoming friendships. Throw in a bit of chemistry and, well, as Humphrey Bogart’s character Rick says in the last line of the movie Casablanca, “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

Things to remember

• Defining the boundary that separates friends from acquaintances can be tricky.

• One's cultural background is a key factor in how friendships are managed.

• Because friendships require an investment of time and resources, we can only manage a limited number of them at one time.

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/out-the-ooze/202208/how-we-decide-who-our-friends-are

Is friendship important to you? How do you choose your friends?

#Friendship #Culture #Sociology