How Your Thoughts Affect Your Relationship
“Noticing and being aware of your automatic thoughts as they relate to your partner can help you recognize when your interpretation of your partner’s behavior may not be accurate. When you notice a strong negative emotion, stop and ask yourself, “What was just going through my mind?” For example, let’s say your partner is late coming home, and you notice yourself feeling angry. You realize that you are having the thought, “They’re avoiding me.” You’ll want to evaluate that thought and determine whether it is 100% true, 0% true, or somewhere in between. Ask yourself if there is any other plausible explanation for your partner’s behavior. Did they get held up at work? Did they get stuck in traffic? Do you have any other evidence that your partner is avoiding you? For example, have they frequently canceled plans with you, or not returned your phone calls? On the other hand, is there evidence that your partner is not avoiding you? For example, do they check in with you regularly, or make plans to spend time together? You may find that there is little evidence that your partner is avoiding you and that it is more likely that they simply got held up at work.
It can also be helpful to notice how your automatic thoughts may be influenced by rules you may have about how your partner should behave, or what a romantic relationship should be like. Rules are often in the form of “should” statements and can be influenced by our life experiences. If you grew up in a conservative family, you may have a different set of rules from someone who grew up in a more progressive home. Maybe there was something that always bothered you about your parents’ relationship that you vowed never to repeat in your own. Being aware of these patterns can help you understand your own rules and how they influence your automatic thoughts, which in turn influence your emotions and behavior.”
Read the whole article at Psychology Today
#Relationships #Thoughts #Non-judgmental
💬 Have you ever had a negative automatic thought that turned out not to be accurate?
Did you like this topic? Then you might also enjoy reading the post “Defeating Negative Thoughts in Hard Times”
@globalBraid3744💬 Have you ever had a negative automatic thought that turned out not to be accurate?
Yes of course sometimes people will surprise you.... i try not to rely on my automatic thoughts only when i have a few be spot on do i get in habit of letting my automatic thoughts take root
@toughTiger6481
I think it is good to notice when you have a negative automatic thought and not rely on it too much. This is an important step to being more objective and less judgmental :)
