How to Enjoy Small Talk and Deepen Your Conversations

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“The vertical questioning technique can make conversations more rewarding. This simple yet incredibly effective conversational technique helps people communicate on a deeper level. This skill is especially useful for those with childhood emotional neglect. Vertical questioning prods the person you’re conversing with to turn inward and think about their response more profoundly. It is the key to making small talk or casual conversation much more interesting and satisfying—for you and the other person. This conversational technique creates an environment of curiosity and understanding. Vertical questioning can rejuvenate dull exchanges with others, deepen your connections, and even reduce some social anxiety. Having this skill can boost your confidence and help you feel prepared when conversing with others. And you will no longer need to dread small talk.

When you ask a vertical question, you get a glimpse into a person’s inner world— their history, background, feelings, desires, and preferences. That is something special. I encourage you to try it with a friend, a coworker, your spouse, or even a stranger to see what you may learn or discover.

Mostly, it involves asking open-ended questions such as:

• Why do you think you’re feeling sad?
• How did you become interested in your line of work?
• What were your favorite parts of the trip?
• What was your childhood like?
• What types of activities do you enjoy?

Summary

• Disliking chitchat or having your conversations peter out quickly may indicate you are uncomfortable driving an exchange deeper.

• If this is you, it's not your fault. Perhaps you didn't get to experience enough meaningful talk in your childhood home.

• You can learn this technique and, with practice, deepen your interactions with others in a healthy and rewarding way.”

Read the whole article at Psychology Today

#SmallTalk #Relationships #Coversations

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