How to Handle the Uncertainty That Comes With Relationships

"Being at peace in uncertainty doesn’t guarantee that things work out forever, but it gives the future a chance to emerge naturally. Trying to control the future eliminates the chance for things to grow.

The following tips will help you handle uncertainty in a way that feels better and helps you let go of control, so you can enjoy your life and your relationship and see where things go:

1. Notice that you are struggling with uncertainty. You may notice that you’re overthinking, analyzing, or imagining the future and trying to know what’s going to happen. You may notice that your breathing is shallow or other sensations in your body. Awareness in the moment is key.
2. Surrender. Surrender to the fact that you don't actually know what's going to happen, what your partner is thinking, or what they meant by the way they looked at you the other day. Whatever the uncertainty is, you just don't know. No matter how much you think about it, and how much you analyze it, and how much you imagine it, you are still not going to know. All that will happen if you keep doing that is that you'll keep stressing yourself out and keep being in a place of uncertainty. Instead, surrender to the fact that you don't know and you can't know, so there is no point in continuing to try.
3. Remind yourself that when you can know, you will know, and you’ll deal with whatever it is. Give yourself a pep talk and remind yourself that it’s OK not to know more than you do right now.
4. Breathe. Imagine letting your worries, analysis, and fantasies fall away.
5. Shift your attention to something else. Think about something interesting, do a task that requires your concentration. Contact a friend and get connected. These are all ways of getting present.

Make sure that you practice your deep breathing to tend to your nervous system regularly. All that worrying and overthinking exacerbate anxiety and lead to dysregulation. Breathing exercises and supportive self-talk will help you get regulated and be more present."

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

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