How to Stabilize Emotions in Difficult Conversations
“Because of your brain’s quick reaction time, the skill is not to stop yourself from reacting. You want to develop your ability to quickly shift your emotions following a reaction. Forgive yourself for being an imperfect human. Only then can you begin to notice your emotions without being distracted by being angry with yourself.
Noticing you are reacting is the first step. Your self-awareness gives you the freedom to choose how you want to feel. Then you can breathe the feeling into your body so the shift is complete. Developing the habit of noticing and shifting your emotions takes time. Practice makes you competent, not perfect. Before long you will be the master of your emotions and can use them to keep conversations moving forward from the start to a satisfying end.
- Choose how you want to feel before the conversation. Choose one or two words that represent how you want to feel when you enter and interact. Do you want to feel calm and courageous, caring and curious, or calm and confident? These will be your keywords during the conversation to shift your feelings back to your desired emotional state if you feel yourself reacting.
- Pay attention to your body. Do you hold irritation in your stomach, shoulders, or jaw? When you are anxious, does your heart beat faster and the back of your neck heat up? During the conversation, notice any tension in your body. The quicker you notice your reactions, the quicker you can shift them.
- Relax. Breathe and exhale to release the tension. Let the blood flow more freely to your brain.
- Choose. Fill your body with the emotional keywords you chose before the conversation. Allow yourself to feel the shift before you speak.
Key Points
- Emotions can support or spoil the chance to achieve a satisfying outcome in a conversation, even more than your words.
- You can't stop emotional reactions, but you can choose what to feel next.
- Before you engage in a conversation, determine one or two emotions you want to remember to feel when the conversation feels unsettling.”
Read the whole article at Psychology Today
#Emotions #Control #Relationships
💬 Do you know how to stabilize your emotions during difficult conversations? What is your strategy?
@globalBraid3744
What is your strategy?
Easy-peasy. Avoiding all difficult conversations. Lolll! 🥲
In all honesty, yes haha, avoiding difficult conversations is what my instincts tell me (fight or flight mode?) but I know it isn't the best approach always, sometimes difficult conversations are much needed and can also maybe help in making things better, given the other person shares our ground and understanding, with lots of respect and compassion too, to make it feel a tad bit more comfortable.
Thankyou for this helpful article, Braid, it does help to regulate our emotions and more in-control of them rather than let the emotions controlling us (which can have a potentially damaging effect to whatever the conversation was intended/ need for).
I like to take a moment to collect myself and my emotions (in situations where possible), before trying to make the conversation, approaching things in a calm, gentle, rational manner is pretty useful too, something I like to keep in mind as well. ❤
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Thank you for sharing your insights, Sun! 🌻
I agree that it is better to approach things in a calm and rational manner. I think that avoiding conflict might also be a good strategy sometimes, depending on how serious is the issue.
@globalBraid3744 Definitely, there's a popular saying "banging head against a brick wall", I feel it applies here as well, if we are the only one trying to make a conversation or resolve things and the other party isn't interested or making any effort, then it's similar to banging our head against a brick wall and ofcourse the one getting hurt will be us, not them; certainly is a need to assess carefully if the situation calls for a conflict resolution, if the person involved has the ability to see things from our side, wants to find a common ground, and/ or has the ability to be open to dialog and conversation, all of this matters so much also! And you're always welcome, Braid!🌻
@globalBraid3744 honestly wish i read this 7 hours ago😕
@TiyamikeMa
You might use it the next time! It is not as easy as it sounds and takes a little practice. I hope you are all right now 🌻
