PsychCentral: How to Regain Your Self-Respect and Why It Matters

Self-respect is loving yourself and treating yourself with care. It’s the result of staying true to your values and not being willing to compromise.

“Self-comparison is rampant on platforms such as Instagram and TikTok,” says Zuckerman. “When we have a low level of self-respect, we tend to engage in more social comparison, which makes us feel worse about ourselves, not good enough, and minimize our achievements.”

At its core, self-respect is a form of self-care.

“When someone has self-respect, they have accepted themselves and believe that they are deserving of belonging in the world,” says Divya Robin, a psychotherapist in New York City. “We are wired to want connection and a sense of belonging, so self-belonging and acceptance is incredibly important for psychological health, too.”

5 Tips to develop and show self-respect

1. Try to revisit your values

Values are firm beliefs about what’s important or desirable to you in life.

For example:

• integrity
• tolerance
• loyalty
• generosity
• cooperation
• wisdom
• commitment

To define your core values, Zuckerman recommends asking yourself these two questions:

• What do you value most in life?
• Are your daily actions taking you closer or further away from the things you value most?

2. Consider taking inventory of your relationships

Self-respect starts with the people you choose to have in your life and heart.

“Surround yourself with people who empower you to accept and embrace your authentic self,” says Robin.

Consider these questions:

• Are the people you surround yourself with building you up?
• Do your significant others support your dreams, opinions, lifestyle, and preferences?
• Are you being treated by others as you wish to be treated?

3. Try to focus on activities you enjoy

Self-respect is also about life satisfaction, and that may start by spending time and effort on the things you’re passionate about.

Some of them could include:

• starting a new hobby or reconnecting with one that used to make you happy
• setting your professional goals and making 90-day plans that include specific tasks that will help you achieve them
• reading a new book about personal growth, fiction, or career development

4. Practicing self-care will help

Respecting yourself means taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally, socially, and physically.

Self-care activities can include:

• relaxation techniques to manage anxiety and stress
• spending time in nature
• connecting with your favorite people, even if virtually

5. Identify and nurture your needs

If self-respect is about taking care of yourself, it’s important that you identify what “care” means for you. What are your needs? What would make you feel fulfilled and satisfied?

“Check in with your needs on a daily basis, and instead of shaming yourself for having needs, nurture your needs,” Robin suggests.

Self-esteem is about how much you love yourself. Self-respect is how you show that love to yourself. Usually, having strong self-esteem will motivate you to respect yourself more."

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Reflection:

Would you say you have self-respect? How would you improve it?

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