Psychology Today: Finding Hope in Hard Times

Once we connect with that vulnerability of feeling lost and hopeless, paradoxically, we are no longer shut off from ourselves. Instead, we are available to be stirred, energized, motivated, mobilized, and inspired—the elements that sustain hope in the world (and feel much better than the despair of hopelessness).

Meanwhile, here are some ways of responding to lostness and hopelessness to keep the channels clear to finding your way back to a place of compassion and hope:

1. Honor your feelings of hopelessness without being consumed by them. As with any uncomfortable emotion, don’t try to deny it; don’t let it pull you deeper into the hole of interlocking impossibilities—racing ahead, making predictions based on that hopelessness, banking, and building on it. Instead, simply welcome hopelessness like a guest, fully and warmly trying to understand it, so it will not keep asking you for its attention.
2. Remember that compassion for ourselves isn’t often our first instinct. We go through layers, a wise young adult explained to me recently—compassion is the underlayer, the one that comes last. The top layers may be denial, depression, anger, grief, and even despair—at some point, we notice who is living through all those layers! That’s when compassion rushes in.
3. No judgment: We can be compassionate with ourselves for why we have these responses. We aren’t judging ourselves for them, nor do we want to be locked in by them. These feelings are to be expected and are not a sign of your failure or weakness—you’re not not resilient or doing life “wrong” because you don’t always feel hopeful.
4. Humble goals: Find little pivot activities: The thing to remember about hope is that sometimes it comes simply from the absence of hopelessness. Sometimes we feel most hopeful when we’re not thinking or feeling about it—we’re just moving along with trust in our steps. Pivot to any action: Whether it’s getting up and brushing your teeth, watering the plants, putting on a piece of music, or playing one on an instrument.
5. Hope without proof: Do we need proof for the existence of hope? As the saying goes, pessimists are always right, but optimists make change happen.

If we can permit ourselves to ask for help with being lost—from a loved one, trusted friend, a real or imagined mentor, a higher power, or the universe itself–this is truly the other side of the coin of hopelessness.

Read the full article here!

#Hope #Compassion #Anxiety #MentalHealth