Psychology Today: How to Forgive Yourself With Self-Compassion

"We all have had times when we have harmed others or harmed ourselves, and many of us harbor regret, shame, or self-blame for years. However, being harsh to ourselves can keep us stuck from moving forward or learning from our mistakes.

With self-forgiveness, we lean into the parts of ourselves we have kept our distance from. You can forgive yourself while committing to never harm yourself or another in that way again. Forgiveness doesn’t let you off the hook. Instead, you intentionally make contact with the hook of self-liberation, carefully unhook it, and then choose to stop taking its bait.

Simple Forgiveness Technique

By bringing the goodness of compassion to the parts of yourself that you have turned away from, you allow for healing.

As you compassionately forgive yourself, you develop the courage to ask for forgiveness from others and offer forgiveness to those who have harmed you. Below is a simple forgiveness technique that you can use first with yourself, and then with others:

• Step 1. Get into a compassionate mindset. Practice a few soothing rhythm breaths, slowing your mind and body down.
• Step 2. Consider something that you have had difficulty forgiving about yourself. Make contact with the pain of that thing inside your body.
• Step 3. Turn toward that pain with kindness and care, as you would a child or friend who is hurting. Bring warmth and gentleness to yourself and the part that is hard to forgive.
• Step 4. Practice a forgiveness dialogue with yourself. You can say the following lines out loud or write them in your journal:

Dear {your name},

I am aware of the pain I have caused you, and I feel the hurt of that pain. I ask for your forgiveness.

Dear me,

I am aware of the pain you have caused me, and I feel the hurt of that pain. I forgive and release you from carrying that pain.

[enter lines to end of page]

• Step 5. Practice some more soothing rhythm breathing.

The Flow of Forgiveness

Learning to forgive yourself opens you to deeper connection with not only yourself but also others. Look for opportunities to practice the flow of forgiveness: self-forgiveness, giving forgiveness, and receiving forgiveness.

Read the full article here!

Reflection:

Are you compassionate towards yourself?

#Forgiveness #Self-Compassion #EmotionalRegulation #MentalHealth