Psychology Today: The Nonnegotiable Sadness of Grief
Grief is a mix of unpleasant emotions: pain, regret, guilt, remorse, fear, anxiety, all waxing and waning. But beneath them all, all the time, is sadness.
"Sadness is the griever’s constant companion. Even on “good” days, you sense it in the background, its volume rising and falling, depending on the attention you pay it. "
"We try
to run away from the sadness and may even succeed for a time. I traveled for
several weeks after my husband, Tom, died. It was a pensive road trip, but
pleasant. I sipped bourbon and watched high-desert sunsets, visited with
friends, took long hikes, and let my mind wander to all the things that might
happen in my life going forward. But as
the time approached to head home, I became afraid, knowing that sadness lay in
wait for me there, where there were no distractions and so many memories. I put
it off as long as possible, extending my trip several times, because just
imagining walking in the door to my empty house broke my heart and stirred
panic."
"When buffalos know a storm is coming, they don’t run—they head straight into it, pushing through to better weather on the other side, getting it over with quickly. They lean into it. "
"Leaning into sadness can be more effective than trying to run away from it."
What I have learned from the article
- Sadness, unlike depression, does not take over life as much as accompanies it, so embracing it can be more beneficial than running away from it.
- Sadness is nonnegotiable in grief. We can only be buffalos and push through those storms of sadness to the other side.
Read the whole article here
💬 Have you experienced a grief caused by something other than death? How did it differ from other griefs you have experienced?
💬 What do you think about statement that it is important to grieve and that if we don’t grieve for the loss of something important in our lives, sometimes we become “stuck” and unable to move forward in your life? Have you experienced this or seen it happen in others you know?
#grief #loss #sadness
@globalBraid3744
There are many times that I've gone through grief without it being related to a death (although grief of a death has also happened). I think in general going through loss of either being rejected or not being able to secure a opportunity has caused a lot of grief.
I totally agree with what the statement says about grief. It's so much to the point that we have identified the pattern of grief (anger, denial, sadness, moving on) which is important to finally come in terms with your new circumstance and move on. Sometimes we can 'tire' out our body from feeling that emotion all the time by letting it feel and process it in the beginning.
@sunnyWriting4806
It is a very good point that a person can also experience grief when not being able to secure an opportunity. I have also experienced that many times myself and it is difficult to cope. It is so true that we can 'tire' our body when feelings those emotions constantly without processing and accepting them.