The Big Mistake People Make When Trying To Set Boundaries, From A Therapist

“Setting boundaries with others doesn't always come easy, especially if you're dealing with a particularly difficult or toxic person. But these are the situations where communicating boundaries is all the more important. We all have 'limits,' and we all experience violations of our limits. Most of the time, people are not trying to violate your limits—they just aren't aware of what they are. This happens when we aren't clear with others—or ourselves—about our needs

We think that setting a boundary sounds like, 'Hey, Mom, don't call me while I'm at work.' But what it actually sounds like is, 'If you call me during the workday, I won't pick up.'

The difference? The second example is coming from an empowered place. It's not a question, it's not asking permission, and you're not relying on the other person to honor your boundary. You're clearing telling them: If this is how you're going to behave, this is how I'm going to respond.”

Read the complete full article at MindBodyGreen

✨Discussion: The main lesson is that creating boundaries is less about what the other individual does and more about what you'll do if your boundary isn't respected. The next time you need to create a boundary remember this important piece of advice. Although it might not come easily at first, it will get easier the more you practice standing up for yourself and maintaining your boundaries.

✨Reflection: Have you spent time considering your boundaries before? Have you ever found it difficult o voice your boundaries?

#Boundaries #Relationships #Friendships