The Secret to Getting a Partner to Forgive You
A recent study, from Israel and Germany, published in the September issue of Social Psychological and Personality Science, examines the relationship between power, high self-esteem, and willingness to forgive.
The association between power, self-esteem, and forgiveness
Power refers to the potential or ability to socially influence others and/or resist social influence.
Some people assume—perhaps due to having witnessed abuses of power—that power is coercive by nature and is associated with negative outcomes (e.g., the tendency to blame others). However, research shows power is also associated with many positive outcomes, such as greater well-being, feelings of authenticity, and success at work.
Forgiveness refers to the willingness to abandon avoidance, resentment, and retaliation against an offender and to make peace. Forgiveness has been linked with positive outcomes, including better mental and physical health and better relationships.
The association between forgiveness and power is rather complex.
On one hand, research shows that the powerful (compared to the powerless) are less willing to make sacrifices for their partners or accommodate them.
In addition, the authors used the interdependent self-esteem subscale from the Social-Autonomous Self-Esteem Scale. Note, interdependent (as opposed to independent) self-esteem refers to self-worth based on intimate and social relationships, such as belonging, connectedness, social roles, and status.
Feeling empowered is associated with being forgiving
Results showed “power was positively related to one’s own forgiveness and largely also to one’s partner’s forgiveness” and “independent self-esteem partially mediated and interdependent self-esteem completely mediated the power—forgiveness link for actors.”
Empowerment is associated with having greater control over decisions that affect one’s life and with reaching one’s full potential. Therefore, to empower your partner:
· Show that you value them.
· Express your love and support.
· Respect their autonomy and self-determination.
· Encourage them to reach their full potential.
Do not let barriers to apologizing stop you from seeking forgiveness, nor barriers (e.g., narcissistic entitlement) prevent you from expressing it.
If your partner is the one seeking forgiveness, remember that being forgiving is linked to greater health, happiness, and relationship satisfaction. Having said that, forgiveness should not be forced. So, if you desire reconciliation but feel unable to let go of negative emotions and resentment, consider therapy.
What are your thoughts on forgiveness? What was the last time you forgave someone?
#Forgiveness #Relatinships #Self-esteem
@calmDew1576 in any relationships forgiveness and acceptance is very important 😮 also difficult but I feel it may help to try communicate with understanding and being respectful and holding space for someone to be 'not-perfect'
wise words in this article, Dew 💙