VeryWellMind: Why Mom’s Mental Health is More Important Than Ever

"The COVID-19 pandemic has created a mental health crisis. Nobody is immune from it—especially moms. The pandemic may be waning, but the psychological impact of a traumatic two years certainly isn't.

“Prior to the pandemic, the rates of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) were one in five. Over the past two years those rates have increased to 50 to 70 percent,” says Paige Bellenbaum, LMSW, Founding Director of The Motherhood Center in New York. She believes that isolation, lack of support, and having to manage even higher levels of stress has caused enormous distress for perinatal women.

Pandemic Pressure on Moms

For moms who were also essential workers, the stress was often heightened by the requirement to take a known risk of getting sick or their kids getting sick, she adds. They also had limited childcare and worked in a high-stress environment.

Because mothers are usually the family organizers, they seemed to bear the brunt of the stressors related to school and childcare during the pandemic. They may also have been responsible for juggling work and childcare—perhaps working less in order to make up for limited outside childcare help.

Common Maternal Mental Health Issues

At The Motherhood Center, Bellenbaum and her colleagues are seeing diagnosis of perinatal anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) most often.

“There is profound stress and worry around the health and wellness of the baby considering COVID-19, and the responsibility that new mothers feel to keep their babies safe and protected,” she says.

And although we’re moving away from lockdowns and restrictions, isolation still feels present for many people. “It’s almost like we got used to the isolation and socializing is like a muscle that is underused unless you initiate it,” Benjamin explains. “New moms of younger kids, toddlers, and babies are also still struggling with anxiety about their kids who are not vaccinated yet.”

Avoiding Maternal Burnout

Bellenbaum has witnessed many women “white-knuckle it” and wait for anxiety or depression to pass. But this rarely—if ever—works. “Months later they are still struggling and wishing they had sought treatment and support sooner,” she says.

Most moms are familiar with goal-setting, and Benjamin recommends making it personal for once. “By setting the goal and value of caring for themselves, moms can pause to consider what is important to them that gives them pleasure, satisfaction, rest, time to process their emotions, or space to foster connection in relationships,” she says.

If you’re feeling distressed a lot of the time, and this distress is getting in the way of completing daily tasks or functions, the best thing you can do is ask for help. Wherever you live, you can call the Postpartum Support International hotline and get connected with a perinatal mental health specialist near you.

Helping the Moms in Your Life

If you’re worried about the mental health of a mom in your life, it can be difficult to know what to do. Bellenbaum advises keeping it simple. “Ask her how she is doing, how she is feeling,” she says. “Let her know that becoming a mother is one of the hardest things she will ever do and that it's ok to ask for help.”

Offering some words of reassurance can make a big difference. “Tell her that she is not alone and that there are places that can support her through this difficult time, and that you will help her get the support she needs to feel better,” says Bellenbaum.

“Talk to them and name your concern in a direct, honest, and kind way,” Benjamin advises. “When talking to them, name what you see in a way that simply expresses what you observe and what you’re worried about.”

Moms experienced some of the highest levels of stress during the pandemic, and most of them still haven't caught a break. Take some time to check in on the moms in your life this Mothers Day (and in general), even just a supportive listener can make all the difference for mental health."

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