Verywellmind – How to Be More Confident

“Self-confidence is a feeling of trust in your abilities, qualities, and judgment. Research suggests that confidence is important to health and psychological well-being.1 Learn how to be more confident, and reap the benefits of increasing your trust and belief in yourself.

What Is Confidence?

Confidence can refer to a general sense of belief and trust in your own ability to control your life, or it might be more situation-specific. For example, you might have high self-confidence in an area of particular expertise but feel less confident in other areas.

Having a healthy level of self-confidence can help you become more successful in your personal and professional life. Research has found, for example, that people who are more confident tend to achieve more academically.2

Confidence can also play a role in the motivation to pursue your goals, with studies linking higher levels of self-confidence in athletes with increased motivation to practice their sport of choice.3 Your level of confidence even affects how you present yourself to others.

How to Be More Confident

Fortunately, there are several ways you can increase your self-confidence. Whether you lack confidence in one specific area or struggle to feel confident about anything, these confidence boosters can help.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Do you compare how you look to people you follow on Instagram? Or maybe you compare your salary to what your friend earns. Social comparison theory explains that making comparisons is natural. But it isn't likely to help boost your self-confidence. It may even have the opposite effect.

A 2018 study published in Personality and Individual Differences found a direct link between envy and the way you feel about yourself.4 Specifically, researchers noted that when people compared themselves to others, they experienced envy. The more envy they had, the worse they felt about themselves.

How do you build confidence when you notice that you are drawing comparisons? First, remind yourself that doing so isn’t helpful. Everyone is running their own race and life isn’t a competition.

If you’re feeling envious of someone else’s life, it's also helpful to remind yourself of your own strengths and successes. Keep a gratitude journal to help you recall the areas in life where you are blessed. This can help you focus on your own life versus the lives of others.

Surround Yourself With Positive People

Take a moment and think about how your friends make you feel. Do they lift you up, or do they bring you down? Are they constantly judging you, or do they accept you for who you are?

The people you spend time with can influence your thoughts and attitudes about yourself, perhaps more than you realize. So, pay attention to how others make you feel. If you feel bad about yourself after hanging out with a particular person, it may be time to say goodbye.

Instead, surround yourself with people who love you and want the best for you. Seek out others who are positive and can help build your confidence. Self-confidence and a positive attitude go hand-in-hand.5

Take Care of Your Body

It’s hard to feel good about yourself if you’re abusing your body. If you practice self-care, you know you're doing something positive for your mind, body, and spirit—and you'll naturally feel more confident as a result.

Here are a few self-care practices linked to higher levels of self-confidence:6

• Diet: Healthy eating comes with many benefits, including higher levels of self-confidence and self-esteem. When you fuel your body with nutrient-dense foods, you feel healthier, stronger, and more energized, which can result in feeling better about yourself.
• Exercise: Studies consistently show that physical exercise boosts confidence. For instance, a 2016 study found that regular physical activity improved participants’ body image. And when their body image improved, they felt more confident.7
• Meditation: More than just a relaxation practice, meditation can help boost self-confidence in several ways. For one, it helps you to recognize and accept yourself. Meditation also teaches you to stop negative self-talk and disconnect from unhelpful mental chatter interfering with your confidence.
• Sleep: Skimping on sleep can take a toll on your emotions. Conversely, good-quality sleep has been linked with positive personality traits, including optimism and self-esteem.8

Be Kind to Yourself

Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness when you make a mistake, fail, or experience a setback. It allows you to become more emotionally flexible and helps you better navigate challenging emotions, enhancing your connection to yourself and others.

A 2015 study connects self-compassion with self-confidence.9 So the next time you're in a challenging situation, recognize that being imperfect or falling short at times is a part of being human. Do your best to navigate these experiences with compassion toward yourself.

Practice Positive Self-Talk

Negative self-talk can limit your abilities and lessen your confidence by convincing your subconscious that you "can't handle" something or that it is "too hard" and you "shouldn't even try."10 Self-talk that is optimistic, on the other hand, can help foster self-compassion, overcome self-doubt, and take on new challenges.

The next time you begin to think that you have no business speaking up in a meeting or that you are too out of shape to work out, remind yourself that your thoughts aren’t always accurate. Then find a way to turn those thoughts around into more positive self-talk.

Here are a few examples of ways to challenge pessimistic self-talk and reframe your thoughts into a more positive way of thinking:

• "I can't handle this" or "This is impossible" becomes "I can do this" or "All I have to do is try."
• "I can't do anything right" becomes "I can do better next time" or "At least I learned something."
• "I hate public speaking" becomes "I don't like public speaking" and "Everyone has strengths and weaknesses."

Face Your Fears

Stop putting things off until you feel more confident—like asking someone on a date or applying for a promotion. One of the best ways to build your confidence in these situations is by facing your fears head-on.11

Practice facing some of your fears that stem from a lack of self-confidence. If you’re afraid you’ll embarrass yourself or think that you’re going to mess up, try anyway. A little self-doubt can even help improve performance.12 Tell yourself it’s just an experiment and see what happens.

You might learn that being a little anxious or making a few mistakes isn’t as bad as you thought. And each time you move forward, you gain more confidence in yourself. In the end, this can help prevent you from taking risks that will result in major negative consequences.

Characteristics of Confident People

When your goal is to become more confident, it can be helpful to understand the characteristics of someone who is self-confident and someone who is more insecure. Here are just some of the differences between the two.

Benefits of Self-Confidence

Being confident in yourself just feels good. That said, having self-confidence can also bring many additional benefits at home, at work, and within your relationships. Here's a look at a few of the positive effects of self-confidence:

• Better performance: Rather than waste time and energy worrying that you aren't good enough, you can devote your energy to your efforts. Ultimately, you'll perform better when you feel confident.14
• Healthier relationships: Having self-confidence not only impacts how you feel about yourself, but it helps you better understand and love others. It also gives you the strength to walk away from a relationship if you're not getting what you want or deserve.
• Openness to try new things: When you believe in yourself, you're more willing to try new things. Whether you apply for a promotion or sign up for a cooking class, putting yourself out there is a lot easier when you have confidence in yourself and your abilities.
• Resilience: Believing in yourself can enhance your resilience or ability to bounce back from any challenges or adversities you face in life.