What Is the Most Important Part of a Good Relationship?

"Before you lose confidence in everything you know about relationships, yes, communication is important. How we talk to each other matters, and it’s worth investing time in learning communication skills. However, having studied romantic relationships for more than 15 years, I think trust is more important. Let me explain why.

Are you going to look out for me?

From the time we are babies, we start gathering information about whether our caregivers are trustworthy and whether the world is a good place. We assess whether the people around us will meet our needs when we’re sad, hungry, or lonely. Researchers refer to this process as building attachment, which serves as the foundation of trust for the rest of our lives.

Later, when we enter romantic relationships, we build trust by allowing our partners to really see us and know us. Physical intimacy requires us to trust our partners with our bodies and our feelings. When we fall in love, we trust our partners not to hurt us on purpose.

In a good relationship, you feel deeply secure in the knowledge that your partner will make choices and take actions with your mutual best interests in mind. They won’t act only for themselves; they will pay attention to what you need and try to provide it.

Are we in this together?

Early in a relationship, one of the first challenges we face is figuring out how interested each person is and what they want out of the relationship. Is this a fling? Are we compatible? Do you like me as much as I like you? In this early stage, we get a lot of insight into whether we can trust our partners to be honest about their intentions and feelings. We assess whether they follow through on doing what they say they will do. We observe how they interact with other people in their lives. Are they trustworthy with them?

Serious relationships also involve investments of time, money, and – to some extent – a little part of ourselves. To feel secure, we need to trust that our partners plan to stay in the relationship and that they will also invest in it. Good relationships don’t hang in the balance of every disagreement or challenge. When trust is solid, you can weather difficult times, conversations, and emotions because it is clear that you’re both “in it.”

Key Takeaways

Sometimes, it is easier to see and understand trust when it is broken or faltering, but we also need to learn what trust looks and feels like when it is intact and consistent. Trusting our partners to look out for us and to invest in a shared future is necessary for a relationship to be healthy and strong.

When you don’t trust your partner, investigate why. When you do, follow that instinct and look for behaviors that back it up. Nothing is more important. Trust me."

*Before I even started reading this article, I thought that communication would be the most important part of a good relationship. But, the top of the article states "Spoiler alert, it's not communication." Whoops! 😂 As I read further into the article, I understood the message that trust is really important too. If you don't have trust, what's the point of the relationship? Trust is important because we need to be able to rely on our family members and partners and they need to be able to rely on us. I think trust is important, but overall I think communication is the most important for a relationship to survive. Do you think trust is the most important aspect of maintaining a relationship? If so, why? If not, what do you think is the most important part of a relationship?*

#Relationships #Trust #Communication

Please find the full article at Psychology Today.