What to Ask Yourself If You're Afraid to Speak Up
"Fear is a real silencer for people, especially when they are in some way the only one in the room: the only woman, the only Black person, the only gay person, the only one with a visible disability. If there happens to be someone who represents multiple underrepresented identities, like the only Black trans woman in the room – these folks can feel like speaking up for any reason is a risk and opt out entirely. Naturally, humans inherently open up so much more when they are aware they are represented.
That said, fear can be overcome, even when you are the only in your identity in the room. Let’s talk through some considerations to help you overcome the fear of speaking up.
When folks tell me they are afraid, the very first thing I ask them to do is to consider what happens if you say or do nothing. Is anyone hurt by your silence? Who? Does anything change for the better or worse if you speak up? Is your silence worth it? I think it is important to ask these questions of ourselves because fear is such a powerful emotion that if we don’t question it, we simply react without any thoughtfulness about the repercussions."
*Fear is a scary emotion to deal with. It can keep us from living fully because we are scare of the repercussions of our actions. If we say something wrong, it can potentially have affects on our relationships and our reputations. But on the other hand, what if we don't say something? Will we ever get the answer to the question that has been on our minds for extended periods of time? When I was younger, I always wanted to tell my crush that I liked them because the worse I could get was "no, I don't like you back." Okay? Then, you just move on! It's not the end of the world! Fear can lead to regret and we shouldn't live with regret in life. Do what makes you happy and the world is yours! Do you have anything that you fear? Are you someone who would rather face the fear or live with the idea that you may never know the answer or experience to the thing you fear?*
#Fear #Regret #SpeakUp
Please find the full article at Thrive Global.
@fruityPond7887
I fear a lot of "little things" . Rejection, loneliness, ridicule, making mistakes, not pronouncing words properly because of my accent.
Often, I would rather stay quiet instead of risking any of the above happening.
But I like the question to consider: would anyone get hurt by my silence?
I will think about that next time. Because the one to get hurt might even be me.
@Luna268 I understand completely. I think many, many people are scared of these things. It's scary to be ridiculed or rejected by others. Honestly, do what makes you most comfortable and don't care what others think. I know it's easier said than done, but you are amazing!! 💙
@fruityPond7887 I fear public-speaking but lately I've been able to overcome it and have done about 5 presentations this year. I'm so proud of myself for that. Thanks for sharing this article!
@comfortableNight4463 Omg that's amazing! Congratulations on all your presentations! I'm proud of you! ❤️
@fruityPond7887 Thank you so much! Really appreciate it.
I have alot of fears when it comes to speaking up. It usually doesn't go well for me. People get angry - it turns into a confrontation and they're alot better at getting their point across than I am. Or depending on what I should speak up about - if I think it will hurt someone - I'd rather it weigh on me than weigh on them. Which - I know it's not right and people can't fix things if they don't know if something is wrong but just from the experiences I've had it just never goes well for me. I used to say it's better to know than not know - so I would ask questions about things. Lately - I think I'd rather not know. Sometimes the knowing hurts more than the not knowing
@mytwistedsoul
I can relate to this. I was caught in a cycle of fear of speaking up, which then led me to want to uncover more things about others or me whenever I didn't speak up. But by speaking up I would then find more things that made me uncomfortable so I wouldn't.
I realized I was not only afraid of speaking up but also to being uncomfortable overall. Life was passing me by and I was living it by simply trying to avoid discomfort. But this was not possible for me. I was wasting my time.
What worked for me is finding something that makes you feel passionate about to not stay quiet and grow as a person. I believe the rest of the improvement will come in time.
I am still working through this myself. So just wanted to say "you are not alone".
Take care 💛
@Luna268 Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! It's always a great reminder to share that we are never alone. Living is a universal experience and we all experience a lot of the same things without realizing it. I am proud of you for all your work on yourself and I know you will continue to grow! 😊
@mytwistedsoul I know how hard public speaking can be, especially when you have something that is really weighing on your mind. I'm really sorry to hear that you've had rough experiences with speaking up and that people have confronted you about it. No one should be confrontational when you are sharing something that's on your mind. I hope you will continue to try and face your fears because you are amazing and you've got this! 👏😊
@fruityPond7887 I think we all have fears. Facing them is the only way to truly overcome them. This needs some caution though because the contribution of a supportive environment is necessary. That's because, although getting used to your fears can help, it doesn't always mean you feel comfortable living with them. Thanks for the great article!
@calmDew1576 Everything you said was perfect and I agree with it all! Facing your fears is really important, but you have to know when the time is right because you need that support to back you up when the times get tough. Thanks for sharing!! 💖
