What to Do About Anxiety and Self-Doubt

"“Social Anxieties

Sometimes these fears are justified. People in your life might actually want to pressure, dismiss, mistreat, hurt, or exploit you. If you belong to a group of people that have been systematically discriminated against, harassed, assaulted, or even worse, it is perfectly understandable to be wary of this happening to you, perhaps again—and again.

All this said—it is also true that, very often, our fears around other people are not really justified. They often couldn’t care less about what we did—we are usually just a bit player in their own personal drama, anyway—or, if they do care, it’s a passing feeling. Even if the other person reacts, you could most likely handle it fine. Furthermore, if there truly is something to deal with—a conflict, issue, broken agreement, betrayal—it is possible to be clear-eyed, strong, straightforward, confident, and secure without being anxious about it. Anxiety is something added to our response to situations; sometimes it’s helpful, but, usually, it clouds thinking, adds needless suffering, and fuels conflicts with others.

The Practice

Be mindful of anxiety around others, especially subtle unease, concern, tension, nervousness, or worry. Be aware of the costs to you of unnecessary—not useful, not valuable—anxiety.

With someone who you know cares about you, try saying to yourself (adapt my suggestions to your needs): I know you’re not going to attack me. Find your way to having the statement ring true, and then see how you feel. Do it again with this statement to yourself: Even if you did attack me, I would still be OK in the core of my being. Let the truth of this and related good feelings sink into you. Here’s another one: I can take care of myself around you. Let this, too, sink in. And: If you hurt me, I’ll still be OK in my core. And: I wish you well. If you have any difficulty with this practice, try other people who love you. The essence here is to feel your way into a place where you recognize others and situations as they truly are, take care of your own needs, and no needless anxiety is added.

Enjoy this practice's freedom, greater ease with others, and confidence. Notice how you can be more relaxed, patient, open, and caring with other people when you are not afraid.”

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

Reflection:

What are your thoughts on this practice? Will you try it?

#SocialAnxiety #Anxiety #SelfDoubt