Why Being Brutally Honest Is So Needlessly Brutal

“Something that feels true when you're angry may not be when you calm down. Being honest in relationships does not mean spouting off the first thing that comes into your head, especially when you are tense. Responses in escalating situations are often distorted. Before speaking, take a hard look at your motives and emotions. Are you blaming someone else for your actions? Are you letting anger and defensiveness distort your view? After stirring things up, couples often need time for the sediment to settle and the water to become clear. Strong feelings are likely clouding the truth, making things seem worse than they are. Testy companions need to hold their tongues and think carefully when tempted to let loose with what feels like a true accusation. People need to edit their words, not to hide the truth, but to take the time to find it.

The next time you find yourself heating up with righteous indignation and ready to tell someone off, hit the pause button. What feels accurate when colored by one emotion will change when the emotions relax. The old saying goes, “Don’t mix bad words with a bad mood. You will have many opportunities to change your feelings, but you cannot take back the words you speak.”

Key Points:

• Partners don’t need to say everything they think, especially when emotions get negative.

• Ugly emotions distort memories and paint the other person negatively, leading to inaccurate accusations.

• Figuring out what is true often requires letting emotions settle down and reflecting on context, motives, and impact.”

Read the whole article at Psychology Today

#Relationships #Honesty #Emotions

💬 What are your thoughts on this article? Do you think there are situations when being honest might not be the best choice? If yes, could you give an example of such a situation?