Coming Out (LGBTQ + Ally Week)

Discussion : Coming Out

Led By BLTMaster and Dillion

Location: Listener Community Room

Adult Listeners

Date : 11th October 2015

IceBreaker

What is one fear you have faced in your life?

GHOSTS

I fought a grizzly bear and a shark at the same time once.

Death

Heights

I'm scared of hospitals.

Questions

1.What does the term "coming out" mean?

The closet. In general. More like, telling people in your surroundings.. About your sexual preference for example.

Coming out means Overcoming i think

Expressing who you really are

2.is Is it important for people to come out? Why or why not?

I think it is important and u have full freedom to express ur sexuality and live ur sexual life ur own way without harming anyone

I think it's up to the person. If they want to come out then that's okay if they don't then that's okay. I think those should come out in their own time and when they are ready.

I think it is. Otherwise they have a feeling inside them that they can't express how they feel when others can. And it's not fair.

I dont think it really makes a difference to me. Nor should it matter to the general public. However, on the other hand... knowing about someone's preference could always avoid misleading or miscommunication between people in potential relationships.

i think its imporant cause its important to beyourself instead of hiding, also it can help discourage poeple that could be offending said person with jokes

3.Who should someone come out to?

Their friends, their family..whomever that that person has had issues with, about who they really are. it really depends.

I think they should come out first to those they love and care for and visa versa

someone they're comfortable with

i think friends are the first people that are the most supportive at first then friends can be there when you come out to family but its your preference

Personally, I think that coming out to someone is a very personal decision, I think they need to be trustworthy, dedicated to being a friend, or supporter in the decision to come out.

there's no steadfast rules. it all depends on the person and their support system

4.What are some different ways we can suggest to come out?

like now a days people can email, write notes text facebook skype

face 2 face

5.What are the benefits of these?

What are the negatives of these?

Befefit: the person will feel a lot comfortable and confident abt his/her sexuallity

i think the benefits of coming out on social media is that it goes out to more people now adays then having to keep tellign people

Negatives: the person may be judged, may be get rejected or be targeted

losing friendships

If you're not ready, and you confide in someone, who then outs you to the rest of the people you know.

I think personally social media has both, you can set filters as to who can see what, but you never know about glitches as well so it may get seen by the wrong set of eyes.

6.When should a person come out?

When they're comfortable with it.

When they feel comfortable telling others

when making that decision I think a person needs to assess multiple factors. including if they can handle it emotionally

Certainly don't rush it, and be comfortable with it. There's no need for extra anxiety in rushing things.

7.Should we always recommend someone to come out? Why or why not?

I don't think we should ever recommend to a member to come out. It should be their decision completely.

No, i dont think we should recommend that they do. Then again, if we already know about them, then they already have to us. lol haha But, lets say, to their family.... i dont think would be in a position to recommend anything. Its a personal decision. Then again, other people who have come out, would probably disagree with me.

8.What are some challenges associated with coming out?

Rejection

Losing family, losing friends, Rejection from all

abuse

Bullying

TEased, taunted....even threats of violence.

People of the same sex thinking you are going to start hitting on all of them. Being an outcast.

9.So how does everyone think we could support members through these challenges?

As far as supporting members, empathizing with what they are going through. Listening to their fears. Not minimizing their situation.

provide resources like the trevor project, or the forums of the 7cups

10.What are some possible benefits to coming out?

Freedom to be yourself

mental, emotional benefits of coming out. Confidence, overall happiness with one's own lifestyle.

Hmm, well finding out your worst fears aren't true and getting the support you need.

you will be in harmony with yourself I think....

11.How can we prepare members for non acceptance?

I think we can tell them the truth that not everyone will accept that simply

And tell them they will find supportive listeners here, if they encounter any difficult situations after coming out.

I think this sort of related to question 4 we had earlier, about ways to come out, I would go over all the negatives to prepare someone for non acceptance.

And tell them that it might be really diffuclt at first, but eventually they'll get through it, and things will be awesome.

12.If it is appropriate, how would you advise someone to come out in the future?

I guess I'd tell them. Take your time. Consider the possible outcomes of various relationships. Make sure you're ready.

I would figure... at a birthday party? Honestly I have no clue. I just think that when theres tonnes of positivity about you at your birthday party, you might as well ride the positivity train and go for it. Otherwise I would say, perhaps one at a time, perhaps to someone trusted first (to test the waters) and then slowly for others.

Do it in a way they feel comfortable with. Be it social media to everyone they know, with a touch of in-your-face-attitude. Or just to a close friend to start out with.

I'd tell them to always consider whether it's safe for them to come out, and if it's not if they're prepared to face the consequences I guess

13.Does anyone think a "coming out" party would help some members?

that depends.

Well for themselves, yeah definitely not at other peoples party. It really depends on the individual and how they feel others might react.

Participant List :

@Dillion @BLTMaster @LoveApple @thirtythousandnights @LMessi10 @Laurrr @Agrish @KawaiiKitty @SaffronSmiles @T0fflan @JTheElderRam @KawaiiKitty @Kismet237 @WindnBreezy @ Resolve @WarmChocolateMug @Smurfstomper @politeOcean93 @Dovah @SunshineCat @carefreePerspective39 @Liz1000 @