Friendships & Bullying Discussion - 10/5/15
Hey guys!
This is the first Discussion transcript I took notes for. Hopefully you will find it helpful as I tried to extract all those important mentions from the discussion. Enjoy!
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Date? 5th October @ 8PM EST
Event? World Bullying Prevention Day
Title? Friendships & Bullying
Where? (Adult) Guided Discussion Room
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Ice-breaker: Which person in your life do you admire most?
I admire my mom the most. She's the strongest person I know.
Kindness, like a boomerang, always returns.
Parents are definitely people to admire!
i admire my boyfriend
Dunno but this talk is helping me feel less lonely and heartbroken
Alright, so today, we are talking building strong friendships & addressing bullying. We will start with friendships! What kind of qualities do your closest friends have?
empathetic, funny, creative
Hmmm... they share some of the same qualities as I do. For instance, we are all nerds lol.
Great senses of humor
They're strong and honest
I always look for people who can listen cause I talk a lot...
Labeling emotions can be powerful. If someone shares a feeling, saying things like It sounds like you feel sad. or You sound frustrated can help the person feel better.
So we like people who will support us?
Definitely
Yeah. People who don't treat me differently if I'm having a bad day
I like a friend that will push me to try new things, too
And make you forget what you are sad about
I like friends that don't allow me to quit
Now that you know what you are looking for - think about yourself. What kind of friend are you? What kind of friend do you strive to be?
I try to be supportive and open minded
I try to always be there for them when they need me
I am an honest friend, the type of person who may not always tell someone what they want to hear but more inclined to say what they need to hear.
Sometimes we have friends in people that we don't even realize
Simply caring for one another, like you would a good friend, is very powerful.
But I think regardless of the type of friend you are, we all try to be the best we can right?
I'm a very friendly person , caring too and always open to them
Everybody is unique and brings their own perspective to a friendship. When you and a close friend disagree on something, what do you do?
It depends on the situation, if we both can't agree I am perfectly fine agreeing to disagree and not allowing it to disrupt our friendship.
Well, at first, we kind of just brush it off. But then, I try to engage that person in discussion and talk it out.
I try to be open minded and understand their point of view
So it seems like we handle disagreements pretty well! Talking it out, agree to disagree, and most of all having respect for the other person!
However, sometimes things are not so easy with friendships. When is it time to walk away from a friendship? How do you know?
When the friendship is becoming unhealthy to the point it effects your daily life.
I think when you have to violate or against too much of who you , to the point you're not pleased with yourself anymore. That's when it's time to let go.
When the two of you have tried every possible thing to work things out and just feel like you're better off not being friends
When you are being used I guess
Sometimes you don't need a reason or a moment of clarity. People change
Ok, so as we talk about friendships, how are friends different on 7 cups vs in person?
I can say anything here without hesitating whereas in person I'm afraid I won't be understood
For some people who have trouble interacting in real life, making friends on 7 cup is more manageable. They can express themselves better without immediate judgment or bias.
I really like this site to be honest
I definitely agree with you guys, being online can relieve pressures of the "real" world and make it easier to connect to people
We provide support to all individuals that are not suicidal, homicidal or abusing anyone.
So I guess, overall we say that making friends online can be easier?
Just but better connection.
Much easier, I use to love having friends online. Thats how i survived high school.
We talked a little about disagreements before, but What is the difference between having a disagreement with a friend & being bullied?
When you have a disagreement you still have respect for that person
A disagreement can happen with good intentions, I don't believe there is a way for a bully to have good intentions.
Bullying you don't respect them. You say things that put them down make them feel bad about themselves
Friends are suppose to be there for you during hard times and you always respect that person but a Bully will tear you apart inside and out and make your life a living ***
A disagreement can be resolved, cause it's a clash of wills, Bully is more like an overpowering of wills.
If your friend is being a bully, cut the tie with that friend.
Sure, but sometimes friends can be bullies without one realizing it ( at least at first)
I think you should confront them first though before cutting off ties
Talking things through first is always a good idea
Bullying can take many forms, all of which are result in someones feeling getting hurt. We can all think of a time when we feel we were bullied. Sometimes, by a close friend, other times by someone we have never met. What does it feel like to be bullied?
It feels like complete dirt to be bullied.
Powerless
i always studder/turn red when i try to stand up for myself/beliefs
What do you do when you have been bullied? Lets brain storm some ideas.
Don't stoop to the bullies level.
Vent to someone i'm close to and basically talk the crap out of everything i couldn't say
Talk to an authoritative figure about it
Don't become the bully yourself!
First, don't write your feelings off, often times because it's from someone we care about we tend to go into a sort of masochistic disassociation and tell oursleves we're over reacting.
i pet my dog too, that helps ALOT
Animals are great therapy
Maybe break down why its happening, why are they bullying you? Where is it coming from?
That's great - getting to the core of the problem can really help
I suppose it depends on the situation and how confident you feel about handling it on your own
I know a few of you have been talking about a lack of friends, Why do you think its hard for some people build strong relationships?
They have low self esteem and think nobody wants to be their friend
I give a lot and people think they can walk all over my kindness
Your personal struggles and lacking empathy
It can be hard to build friendships, what does it feel like to not have many people in your life that you can trust? And what first steps can you take to build the kind of friendships that you deserve?
A true friendship is based on actually having deep conversations and taking about issues and you have to hurdle the lame small talk
Maybe overcome self insecurities first
I have a ton of friends but only 1 understands me deep inside.
So I think an important thing with friendships is quality over quantity, right?
I definitely take time to get to know a person before I call them my friend
I think it is okay if you have 1 or 2 friends that you can just sit and do nothing with
Theres so many people in the world too, that friends are out there. I think we get so caught up in our little circle of school
Lets talk about how to maintain friendships - have you ever been the reason a friendship ended? Was it your fault?
My "friends" have said I'm too boring/depressing/serious etc
Some words to live by. Never look down on anybody unless youre helping him up. ~Jesse Jackson
I think friendships ending can be a mutual fault thing. Loss of communication, loss in effort to successfully communicate
You've been giving great answers all night, so let's end strong with this final question: What is something you can do regularly to show your friends you care about them?
I send them cute facebook stickers randomly
Probably listen to them. Ask them how they're doing
If they are in a crisis, I send them my regards and offer to talk to them.
Encourage others that are struggling with issues that you have overcome. Hope is powerful.
Does anyone have any last questions or comments on Friendships & Bullying?
Is it horrible that all my fruebds are guys ?
As long as you get along and respect each other, gender does not matter when it comes to friendship
You guys have been absolutely wonderful, really Awesome answers all the way through!
A big thank you to everyone! I hope you enjoyed the discussion as much as I did! I'm all out of hearts now haha
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Discussion Leaders: @Alicattt
Participants: @turquoiseDog7303 @bubbleJar0620 @lovelyWhisper66 @PatMeOnTheBack @intellectualCake8871 @Guffy @limegreenGrapes7266 @SarahLydia @PatMeOnTheBack @t3ars0fac10wn @patientShip3866 @intellectualGlobe656 @NamidaMaeda @ScintillaNyx @clearKai @neverendingCandy94 @Lawbrary25L @cyanTalker7167 @Hockeyfan76 @intuitiveTree9910 @Iamalittlerebel @JustCry @nolagirl9910 @sensitive1234 @raspberryBike1913 @forcefulTalker1802 @decisiveWalker2613 @Figgy50 @Lana74 @IHateyou2 @aquaLime8190 @Alystem @gregariousClementine1320
Note taker:
cristiana33
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I wasn't in the discussion but I surely enjoyed doing this transcript. :)
Hopefully I haven't left out any important mentions.
