Respecting Others discussion for Respect Day [Notes]

This forum post is based on the listener discussion that was held on September 18th, 2015 hosted by @Anushka1 and @mscoxie on the topic: Respecting Others for Respect Day.

These notes were made using a transcript as of the whole discussion, as I couldn't be present for the discussion. I have reviewed the entire transcript, though, and have made an outline on what was discussed to share with everyone!

Let us first start with a super interesting ice breaker! If you had to do this week all over again, what would you do differently?

Sleep more!

What does respect mean to you? Describe it in the first word that comes to your mind.

Acceptance

Keep close attention to cultural diversity.

Loyalty hustle respect.

Respect-- treat others the way you want to be treated.

Respect is knowing that everyone is a person just like you.

Equality.. Respect for others as you want for yourself

Be accepting towards different opinions and not just attacking one side but instead listen to it and try to understand it

Having just defined respect, we see that its a positive emotion that goes a long way. What could be considered as a respectful behaviour - online (as in on 7cups) and in real life?

Having respect can be as simple as paying attention to others around you.

Listening to other viewpoints.

Having debates not arguments.

Keying in to others' comfort levels, the kind of way they like to talk, how much or little they like to talk or listen

When you are treated respectfully, how do you feel?

Empowered, respected, love, appreciated, acknowledged, valuated, important and well, visible!

So, respect goes a long way in building a bond, but as humans we make mistakes. Have you ever treated someone else with disrespect, intentional or unintentional?

Yes. It took a great toll on me till I learnt that you need to give respect and simultaneously maintain yours too

Yes, Intentionally - we all made mistakes, and maybe we all have done it sometime in our life... Unintentionally - We may have done it out of anger or any strong emotions..

At times it made me feel vindicated, but now looking back, it seems unnecessary

Sometimes, it's made out of anger, our problems makes us too blind to see other's sufferings and we end up hurting them.

Have been disrespectful many time, though I don't like it and try to avoid it as much as possible, I still succumb to it.

When you are treated disrespectfully, how do you feel? What behaviour counts as disrespectful?

I feel insulted and hurt, depending on the level of relationship I have with the person controls how hurt

Well being ignored for sure, having your points being trivialised and not being considered. To feel invisible in a social setting you hope to be comfortable in can be rather cruel.

Well sometimes ego comes in the way of respect.

When I am disrespected I tend to feel like I am not worthy of any respect.

What do you do when youre treated that way? Do you act a certain way?

I try to understand the other person's true perspective

I keep doing what I am supposed to do

I usually leave if I can

I think i try to keep calm, but then always end up crying because of my anger!

Staying calm in the face of a disrespectful person and explaining things sometimes allows them to realize that they are fighting against a fictional foe

Well my negative reactions often involve making the other person feel ignored or trivialised, my non-negative reaction would just be letting them know they aren't helping, or just walking away from it all. I do get vengeful sometimes though, only when they have put me in a spot where I can't walk away from.

What could be the driving factors for treating others disrespectfully?

Summary: Misunderstandings, crankiness, power plays, attention, just being uneducated on how to act properly. Someone might be having a bad day. Lack of understanding about other people's customs, beliefs, traditions, or even laws, can lead to disrespect, whether intentionally or out of ignorance.

Do you think some people are disrespected more frequently than others? If so, why do you think so?

Summary: Women, teenage mums, black people, asian people, fat people, thin people, old people.

How do you think conflicts lead to disrespectful behaviour and how?

I think conflict leads to people wanting to "win" at it, so they go to their stand-by responses that get reactions

If you cant see the other persons viewpoint or at least be willing to learn about it

So, how do you think we could use these emotions better, instead of being disrespectful? can you resolve conflicts in some other way?

Thinking about what you are saying and whether or not it is useful can be helpful.

Being RESPECTFUL to them and their point of view you can resolve conflicts..

Think before you speak.

Okay so this brings us to our last question, after thinking about disrespect and how it affects people, how important do you think it is to be respectful to others?

Even if we ourselves, tend to stop respecting a small group of people, lets say, those that we see in our lives, who they, themselves, DO NOT respect others...we tend to look down on those who we strive NOT to be. We start to judge them. We think its justified, because they are not worthy of respect, because THEY do not respect others. Well, one could argue that if we lose our sense of respect even for those types of people, then we are still in the wrong. We have to maintain our level of respect, compassion for ALL people, even if we feel that those disrepectful people are not worthy of it.

I think it is important to afford everyone a general level of respect

Respecting everyone provides a less turbulent mind for oneself over time

I think treating disrespectful people with respect gives them a sort of role to fill that maybe they havent felt before

Waiting for the other person to change first tends to be less immediate and less effective

'be the change you want to see in the world'

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Participant list: @WhenNo1CaresImHere @SJ1995 @Kallie112358 @JennaLovesYou @RedLionLis1095 @friendlyShoulder45 @Elle22 @OneLifeToLive @Heart2Heal @Isaac_ @Sahayak @Daeron @WarmChocolateMug @OverPouringCup @DreamTwerks @afandishun009 @Sarah @Johnny20 @Courtneyx3 @JTheElderRam @wonderfullDancer67 @YouCanHas @LovelyWarmth944 @gracefulBeauty100

Awesome discussion! Thank you a lot to everybody who joined and participated!

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