Let Me Lose (TW)
Have you ever been in a wrestling match that ended in your being pinned on the ground? That’s the spot I’m in right now, and I just need to get it off my chest so please just bear with me.
Depression is weighing me down in so many places today; I’m pinned to the floor and maybe the only way to get out is to end the match. I know it would be selfish, I know it would be weak. My seven cups family is on the sidelines and I know it would be discouraging if I stopped struggling.
I know that I’m not resilient enough; I’ve met so many who won against bigger opponents than I am fighting. I’m ashamed of myself, really. I’m aware that it would be cowardly to throw the fight, but I’m pinned to the floor, and I can’t get up. Would anyone mind terribly if I just ended the fight? Would it discourage you if I left the ring?
I’m aware that you probably have a bigger demon than I to fight, but my body is weak and I’m very tired. Depression has me pinned to the floor, and I don’t think I can win.
@burningRain127
They might not seem like the biggest enemy, but they are tough. Its not always the bigger the enemy, the more dangerous. Sometimes they attack fast, and swift. Sometimes they are tiny, so small you can't see them. But that doesn't make them weak. You don't see the fangs of the spider. They still hurt. I want to see you win this fight, and then we will celebrate. We celebrate every time you made it another second against it. Just gotta power through.
I know that probably makes no sense, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that they don't need to be the biggest to be the meanest. I will celebrate with you when you win this fight.
Thank you.. I’ll take what you said into consideration, I love you friend
@burningRain127
Hello,
thank you for sharing. It is good that you trust your 7cups family enough
to reach out when you struggle. Gathering the energy to reach out is
really hard in such moments and I believe you did really well today by doing so.
We
all have our demons it's true. And while someone else seem bigger or
stronger or weaker and less significant struggles, yours are the ones weighing you
down. We are all different with different life experiences, but your struggle is your own and it is incomparable to someone elses. Or to put it differently, it is your struggle that weighs you down, and not someone elses. If that makes sense :)
I do think it is a part of life to get stuck, to feel pinned down, to be tired and to
have less hopeful days. A new day however may bring you new options
and knowlege that you weren't aware of the day before.
All that to say is, that I do hope you keep fighting. And I dont really know you, but I am proud of you for reaching out. Try to take care of yourself to your best ability. Even baby steps are progress. So don't forget to do the basics today, drink water, eat something, maybe watch a show you enjoy or do something else that brings you comfort.
