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Hi everyone, I hope all is well on your end. Ever since my last post discussing man's search for meaning [https://www.7cups.com/forum/SiteUpdates_100/BookRecommendationsAdminPicks_2134/ManssearchforMeaningAreflection_228307/], I have read some more books. One, in particular, I found very interesting and I would like to share it with you. This post will discuss findings from the book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. [https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-People-Powerful/dp/1982137274/ref=pd_lpo_14_t_0/145-6068088-7903354?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1982137274&pd_rd_r=f34ccdf1-7716-4ed8-afa0-d77bd47f8ca1&pd_rd_w=GqgrT&pd_rd_wg=JC097&pf_rd_p=7b36d496-f366-4631-94d3-61b87b52511b&pf_rd_r=EP0K4CHKATEY5WMAA8RK&psc=1&refRID=EP0K4CHKATEY5WMAA8RK] I do encourage you to read the book yourself. This post just captures some parts of the book, the book is quite extensive and I personally don't think a summary would do it justice. I have tried to reflect on pages that I found powerful and principles we can all learn from. �
To change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions
One thing that I really liked about the book is how it urges you to be genuine in your efforts, to truly work on personal growth and improvement, and to not go for quick fixes and hacks. The author insists that outside change (be better at a business or be more successful etc) comes when you change your perspective and shift your thinking, stated in the book as We began to realize that if we wanted to change the situation, we first had to change ourselves. And to change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.
The Map is not the territory
Arthur argues that our understanding of the world is subjective and not objective. How we view the world is based on our experiences, perceptions, understanding, etc. Stephen explains that the map is not the territory but rather. A map is simply an explanation of certain aspects of the territory. In order to reach your desired destination, you must use the right map. If you have a map of Chicago but you want to go to Detroit then no matter how hard you try, you will not reach Detroit by following that map. We all carry many maps in our mind, we rarely question how accurate they are, we believe that our maps represent the right territories, they show things as they are as opposed to how we see them. Our maps fuel our perceptions and thoughts, people with different maps see things differently. The author argues that principles are the territory and our values are our map. If we don't practice the right values (wrong map) we can't reach the right principles (wrong territory). This analogy is heavily used in the book, to understand it fully, I recommend that you read the book.
Let's look at the 7 Habits
Be proactive
The book urges us to proactive and not reactive. It advises that we should take responsibility for our lives and that we should avoid blaming external circumstances. Reactive people blame external elements while proactive people try to find a solution to the problem at hand. The author believes that our response to an event matters more than the event itself. A proactive person uses proactive language–I can, I will, I prefer, etc. A reactive person uses reactive language–I can't, I have to, if only. Reactive people believe they are not responsible for what they say and do–they have no choice.
Begin with the End in Mind
The book contains a powerful exercise that I won't mention as it is as it can be triggering for some. Basically, our time on earth is limited, and envision how you would like to be remembered. Beginning with the ‘end in mind allows you to see what truly matters to you with more clarity. Almost everyone will pick things like relationships and love over materialistic things. Work backward from that vision and reflect on your life and see if you are making the right choices. Additionally, you can also use visualization to accomplish your current goals, if you wish to run a marathon you may visualize how that would feel, what you will wear, how you will tackle each mile, etc you visualize it long enough, you start to believe that you will get there. This book aside, visualization in itself is a very powerful tool we can all try to incorporate in our lives. The author recommends creating a personal mission statement [https://www.developgoodhabits.com/personal-mission-statement/#:~:text=Covey%20suggested%20that%20people%20create,want%20to%20contribute%20to%20society.] and reflecting on it often to ensure your actions align with your end goals.
Put First Things First
Once you have figured out your principles and values, it is important to prioritize choices/goals that allow you to practice what matters to you. The book recommends to not get lost with the daily planning and losing sight of what truly matters in the long run. The author talks about the following quadrants. He insists that if you make time for activities that fall under quadrant II, your Quadrant I will be reduced over time.
The Win/Win or No Deal Principle
The author insists that in all of your dealings, reach a ‘win/win agreement where both you and the corresponding party benefits. If you both are not able to find a way through which you both would benefit, then simply walk away and do not make a deal. While the principle, in general, is good to live by but the author admits that in some situations ‘no deal� is not an option and the ‘win/win situation is hard to reach. Nevertheless, he insists that it is the only reasonable principle to strive for. If you read the book, his explanation does make sense as he goes in quite a lot of detail. Stephen mentions that to reach the ‘Win/Win mindset, one must possess/acquire the following character traits:
Integrity - If there is no trust between the people making a deal, then win/win is hard to achieve.
Maturity - Maturity is the balance between courage and consideration
Abundance mentality - There is plenty for everyone, say no to zero-sum thinking [https://www.7cups.com/forum/SiteUpdates_100/HsHaven_1970/RecognitionandZeroSumThinking_224428/]
Seek first to understand, then to be understood
I think most of us are guilty of wanting to be understood first before we even try to understand the other person. Simply listening and seeking first to understand can be a game-changer. A lot of confusion and headache can be avoided if one tries to understand the other person before wanting to be understood. Given that 7 Cups is a place where most value listening, I won't go into more detail about why this point is important.
Synergize
What is synergy? Simply defined, it means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It means that the relationship which the parts have to each other is a part in and of itself. It is not only a part, but the most catalytic, the most empowering, the most unifying, and the most exciting part. The author insists that our differences give us the opportunity to synergize, work together to create something better. Which does make sense, what would the world look like if we all saw the same things, felt the same way, want the same things? Pretty boring to say the least.
Sharpen the Saw
The author insists that it's worth putting in the time and effort to ‘sharpen the saw so you can better function. It is not a waste of time but essential for our well being and productivity. Stephen mentions that there are 4 dimensions to sharpening our saws
Physical - Give your body the right fuel, exercise frequently. We need to make choices that are relevant and sustainable.
Spiritual - The spiritual dimension is your core, your center, your commitment to your value system. It's a very private area of life and a supremely important one. It draws upon the sources that inspire and uplift you and tie you to the timeless truths of all humanity. And people do it very, very differently. find what works for you!
Mental - We need to continue to fuel our mind with good things like good books and limit things like binge-watching seasons of your favorite shows, fun for sure but not very refreshing!
Social/Emotional - The author insists that practicing the earlier mentioned habits and staying true to your values will help you find the balance in this dimension.
Have you read the book? If so, share your favorite bits with us!
