Looking for Feedback on My Essay

Did you know that most people fall asleep in 7 minutes? I doubted this, as I stared up at the ceiling in my darkened room. The polaroids were illuminated by the penumbral glow of the moon, the closed-eyed smile on my face glinting. Curling into a fetal position, a lone tear dribbled down my cheek. I miss her so much it hurts. Looking at the lugubrious portraits with her elysian grin, I wished with every atom of my being that she was still here. 
 

Unable to take it, I burst out of my bed, my feet hitting the floor with a thud. I flung open my door and stepped out. The silence hit first. Then a gentle breeze curled around me, caressing my skin with a feather-like touch. Eyes squinting at the light, there were cherry blossom trees rose from the ground like guardians, and a cobblestone path littered with mimosas that stretched on. 
 

At its end, a wooden bench faced the sea, and on it sat the still silhouette of someone — quiet, unmoving, like the sands of time had stilled with her. 
 

Approaching, I saw that it was a girl with a school uniform and a face that held both youth and something far older, gazing out at the sea like she was listening to the waves speak. Her eyes landed on me like she'd been waiting. 
 

“Hey, the scenery's beautiful, isn’t it?” 

I nodded, breathless. “Yeah,” I said, voice cracking. “It really is.” 
 

I sat down beside her, not too close. 
She smiled faintly and said, “I’m Nao.” 
 

My heart skipped. Nao. From the book.  

She reached out. As the polyester of her sleeves hiked, thin, pale marks caught the light, faint but unmistakable. 
 

Something inside me fractured quietly. 
“I… have those too,” I said, voice barely above the wind. 
 

She didn’t flinch, face softening like the sky before rain. 
And she offered her hand. I took it. We just sat like that. Two strangers with shared scars. 
 

Clearing my throat, I ventured tentatively, "W-why?" Gingerly untangling her hands from mine, Nao looked to the horizon before saying, "I'll tell you while we walk." Nodding and trailing after her, I followed her onto the soft sand. The lulling sound of seagulls was accompanied by the melody of the pristine waves’ alluring song. We then sat in a field, the willow leaves shrouding us. With that, she began to speak. 
 

"I cut myself because... it's my way to cope with life. Pain is survival. I feel like a lost spaceman slowly losing oxygen by the minute, but I laugh it off to make it bearable. Until I start to cry but that uses oxygen too." She trails off, her eyes, eidolic in their silence, holding galaxies of grief unspoken. Tears stitched down her cheeks. Leaning on her shoulder, my heart broke for her, for us, and for humanity and those who suffer in silence. 
 

“My best friend she..." I gulped, my heart aching, past memories resurfacing. “I wish I could have helped her.” Dolorous tears trickled, I continued. “I c-could’ve helped... it must've been so hard for her..." 
 

“I’m sure she is.” Wiping away her tears, she stood. “C’mon! We have to get back in time for the sunset!” Taking each other’s hand, we ran, our toes digging into the sand, the waves kissing our feet. After ages… I felt free. We arrived back at the bench, gazing wordlessly as the crimson bleeds through clouds.  
 

My hands reached up to brush my neck, where my prized locket lay. I unclasped the lock. "Nao, I just wanted to give you this...for everything." Looking into her eyes, I slipped the necklace around her neck. She tucked it into her uniform, eyes glistening. Slipping a Tamagotchi into my hand, she said, "I've had it my whole life, so please take care of it. I hope that you can look at him for support and think of me." Chest trembling, I embraced her until the sun descended into the ocean's depths. Then, my hands fell through her body, her presence dispersing like butterflies. 
 

With a flash, I woke with a start.  A Tale for the Time Being in my room caught the moonlight, and something in my heart panged. Faintly, something in my pocket buzzed. It was a Tamagotchi. Deja vu coursed through me. It pulsed once, gently, like a second heartbeat. I drew it to my chest, cradled it, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I fell asleep. 

Okay that's the end! if you've reached this point thank you so much for reading and taking the time <3 okay thanks everyone!