Chapter 3 - Her name was No-One

I'm looking out at the peaceful garden and the ripe cherry trees, there is a stillness without any wind blowing rustling the leaves.

I'm staring so hard I don't even see your arrival. I'm taken aback when I see frantic paw waving to get my attention.

I smile apologetically. "Sorry miles away." I ask how she is, she smiles and shrugs nonchalantly as if to say, it's not important, I'm here for you only.

I'm a lil uncomfy with that. I'm not used to opening up but maybe it will get easier. I look down at my hands pausing, How much do I share?

It's almost as if I had to remind myself to be cautious. Knowledge is power to be used against me.

I half smile, well today was a lil better. I did want a lot more sleep. I find when I'm extra ill, as in short and longterm, rest heals me quicker but because I had so much to do, I couldn't relax.

As usual there was a pressure to meet other people's deadlines and ignore my health.

But I did make a pressing call and actually she was understanding about it. I felt a lot of relief, it was weighing on my mind and I expected a nasty attitude.

I snapped my head up suddenly realising I wasn't meeting your eyes and the thought occurred to me, whether or not you were actually listening.

It was as if you saw through me. You nodded and touched the glass again and I did too. You did hear me after all.

I felt relieved enough to carry on. After that went smoothly it spurred me on to do something else and that was it. That was all I could manage because every breath ended in a cough.

Tomorrow is another day and more things will get done, even though the tiredness is draining me as is the heatwave.

I looked at you realising I wanted something back in return, this had to be equal. Almost instantly I could hear your thoughts, it was so powerful I had to hold on to the wall.

You were saying I hear you, 

I understand you,

You're doing well.

Keep going,

I got your back,

I'm proud of you.

I shook my head unsure why I was angry. These were very pretty, very flowery words but I still felt empty as though I hadn't earned them. Earned the right to be praised..

I broke my hand away from yours severing the connection and instead drew a broken heart.

Words can hurt, words can heal but sometimes words aren't enough.

You looked at me sadly, tears were falling but they weren't my tears or sadness. I was devoid of emotion.

You tried again to reach out your paw and offer me friendship, comfort and loyalty but it still didn't feel quite right anymore.

I looked at Scratchy and said "Sometimes no matter how much you want to help, you can't make it better. Thanks anyway."

With that I turned my back and you vanished.