3 months In
I'm 3 months in now from being told in May my husband wanted a divorce. I was completely blind sided and crushed. We've been thru a lot together and I was in total shock. It was very quickly done was told the one day he wanted the divorce the next the papers were handed too me. We were together 11 yrs. my heart still hurts I am still crying a lot and just try to get thru each day. I miss him terribly even tho my treatment at he end was horrendous I can't seem to shut off my feelings for him. Was was quite cruel at the end and refused contact. I still feel like I have had the rug pulled out from underneath me. Starting over at 42 wasn't what I had planned. When does the pain and crying stop or missing them?
@Taetae1974
Oh my dear. I'm so f-ing sorry. I am navigating a similar situation (kind of). Starting over at 48 after my partner turned into a cruel stranger.
I don't know how it gets better. I have only faith that it will. It has to. Maybe we can help each other through. 
Thank you so much. I think it makes it harder when you do speak to the person instead of the space. I have realized I feel it all over again. It's a grieving process for sure. Goods days weepy days very up and down. Starting over wasn't my plan and the shock takes time to work thru as well.
Definitely a grieving process and there is just no rushing that. I've found that when I try to hold it in, all the bad feelings magnify and become overwhelming. Having someone to talk to and just getting all the crap out in the daylight, seems to reduce the intensity. For me, anyway. I still have times when I have to sit in my bedroom with the door closed and just sob out loud. Over these last several months, the frequency and duration of that has decreased thankfully. In a way, I'm losing patience with looking at my tear-stained face. :)
I'm also looking at things I used to love or want to try that I haven't because all my energy was spent on trying to save my marriage. I have to fill this void with something and it might as well be something pleasurable, you know?
