5 days after signing separations papers
the seperation was my idea, it was a long time coming - for me anyway.
now that it is "REAL" the pain has landed.
In my head i go back and forth - is this "right" or have I made a huge mistake
with my low self esteem and anxiety, i cant see anyone every wanting me, not that i am ready
but to have a human touch - something that i havent had for the last few years of my marriage would be so nice
can you tell i am messed up??
Hello @serenity003 .. sorry to hear that this isn't an easy time for you, but can I tell you that its not surprising that you are feeling like this ,,,,know from my own exoerience. One would expect that having waited for a long time and then initiated the separation, that it would be nothing but a relief and one could move on. And I think there is a real sense of relief initially,but then the reality kicks in and maybe getting the separartion papers made this real for you. Then the doubts, the grieving for the loss of a marriage (the hopes and dreams that we had and the sadness that itt didn't work out), adjusting to life on one's own and the anxiety of facing afuture that is unknown. Suggest you are gentle with your self, and look for support from others like family and friends,and just know this is going to take time. We are here in support too.
Appreciate your feedback, it's definitely nice to read that some one just gets you. I think you for your kind words.
@rozie
@serenity003, first of I want to tell you I'm sorry, but also, tell you that you're not messed up. You are human. Sometimes either because of our busy lifestyles, routines, or any other reason, we kind of block things. Sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. You were married with this person. There is a life there, with memories, both good and bad. Those kinds of things hurt, even if it was for the better and even if like you said the separation was not a surprise because it seemed like you were already been separated.
Remember that when we are feeling down, we are not thinking right. You said so yourself. You have low self esteem and anxiety and because of that you feel like no one might want you anymore. This is not true. Many people feel the same way after a separation or a divorce. Don't let bad thoughts bring you down. Take this as a new start, edit this new chapter however you want to. Don't sabotage yourself. Learn and grow, and never underestimate yourself.
Thank you for your support and understanding, it means everything to me. @rainbowHeart92
@serenity003
Serenity, how has this turned out for you? I am in the middle of this situation right now and so anxious about the future.
