Bf (8 years) struggles with depression and anxiety and I'm wondering if I can keep up
Hi,
I am unsure of what to do. For many years now, my boyfriend of 8 years has been struggling with perfectionism, performence anxiety, procrastination, depression. About two years ago he also had a burn out and kept on working for a few months before quitting. He has been at home since. It's been a year. He hasn't gone back to work for a year. I've never seen him perform in any work setting. Not that he has to, but it's always been a big struggle, even career changes have ot improved the situation. He has anxiety and depression, but refuses to consult. He is procrastinating everything and has anger issues too. (Who starts screaming and swearing because you spilt a table spoon of rice onto the counter?)
I've been loving and supportive as much as I could. He asks me to call people (like insurance company or Fedex) in his place because it stresses him too much. We are 28 and 29. Someday, I want a family. I'm just feeling like even though he does want kids, I would be raising them alone. I love him, but I'm starting to want out.
I've talked to him about it, I've voiced my concerns. We are more and more on edge. He has been making good efforts since January, but I'm wondering if it will ever be enough. Could I be broken? I have been very patient.
I'm definetly a procrastinator too, I've been procrastinating this decision. Is it fair of me to request all those improvements and still walk away?
Help?
@Vuala
I've been going through the same thing except he left me.. I was devastated at 1st because i always thought I'd be the 1 to leave. He left because of his depression. He wont seek professional help although we spoke about it. Its been 5 weeks since we broke up, he moved out, we tried again, I'm currently to the point where I've had to ask him for no contact as it was too emotionally draining for him having to support him through this break up while also suffering myself. I know its hard. I remember when i was with him I'd fantasize about what it would be like to be with someone with mental stability who wanted marriage and a family. It drains you when they get down and you give everything to try bring them up. They are adults they need to seek professional help for themselves not for us. In a way i wish i had left i wanted to but was too comfortable, didnt want to be alone, i love him so very much but have to put ourselves and our own well being 1st. Breaking up is the hardest thing to do but you do get through it. You do become stronger. You are the most important person in your life. Focus on you. Write lists of pros and cons about the relationship. Write a list of your ideal man and what qualities and traits he'd have. Would love to chat with you if you'd like to hear more about my experience and what I've been through/going through
