Breakup After 10 Months

I broke up with my first real boyfriend after 10 months of dating. He was my first everything and it’s really hard for me to let go. The relationship was very rocky. And there is a long list of things he did to hurt me and lose my trust. And things I could’ve done better as well. I just feel like I’m giving up on what could have been. And that’s hard to let go of.