Breakup
Hi, my partner has recently left me (1 month ago). We have a 5 month old baby. She told me she wanted to leave because i don’t make her happy anymore. Within a two weeks she moved all of her stuff out of our home and took our son with her. She was talking to someone else before we broke up but said they were just friends and then I her watching their grand final for the season at the football. She blames me for everything and says that the reason she left was because I am controlling and don’t let her have friends or be herself. She says that she has lost herself and doesn’t think we are right for each other. She has told me I need to give up and let it go and that she doesn’t want to be with me. I am struggling with the idea that we won’t be together as I had thought that was how my life would be (having a baby and everything) and also can’t forgive myself for my controlling behaviour and blame myself. When I speak with her she calls me names and is always angry at me. I’m seeing my baby but not sure what to do in terms of the relationship as I am having trouble letting go and not forgiving myself.
@courteousWater807. sadly that's part of relationships they either work or they don't
@courteousWater807,
I understand.
Painful situation, for both of you (she, more than likely, is in pain too).
I don't know what happened and did not happen.
Normally, when someone in her situation decided to leave, that decision was not made overnight, and she might have a very good reason.
So I would start with being totally honest with your self, keep it with yourc self and ask your self for clarity about yourself. Talk with your self, dive in.
Having said that, she might be willing to do couples/marriage counseling.
Now, if you want to suggest that, don't when you are on a call with her.
Anger unlikely will open her up to the idea.
Maybe you can suggest to have a cup of tea, somewhere where you can talk, yet a public place.
You could say that you want to talk about your child, and the best way to deal with each other, so your kid can have an undamaged childhood.
A couples/marriage counselor could help both of you to communicate with each other in a warm and non-hostile way.
If you would bring that up, DO emphasize that a couples/marriager counselor does not by definition fix relationships.
Such counselor basically try to help you to better communicate.
That could mean that you might reconcile, or it might mean that both parties understand that it is best for everyone to part way, yet become caring and loving parents.
Hope this helps.
Take care.