Break up
My gf left me 3 months ago citing controlling behaviour on my part. We were together for 17 years and have 3 children together.
I have since been attending counselling and I feel a changed person and hopefully she can see this. She always asks how my sessions have gone.
We are getting on very well now, sometimes flirty and sometimes she goes cold. I have asked her for a chance to try again on 3 occasions and she knows I want her back. She has not said yes or no but she is always very civil and happy around me now.
Is this normal for her? I get the odd mixed signal sometimes. I am scared of asking her outright at the moment as to where her head is at as I don't want to push her away altogether. She never talks about the relationship at all. I have taken full responsibility and apologised for everything.
Does this sound like I may get a chance to try again or does she seem happy with the way things are?
Any advice about what I should do would be very grateful.
@Rainbow219. I would move on she seems like she is hot and cold that I think is toxic
@Rainbow219,
she might be confused.
Afraid you did not really change. Or she still cares but the love is gone.
Just leave it. Live your own life. Don't let your life revolve around her. Care for your true self. Apply mindfulness whenever your thoughts start racing around her. Breathing exercises help me to ease down. Simple. Focus on breathing. Slow in,slow out. Don't put effort in it. Keep on breathing until you are more at ease. Apply as often as needed. Make it at least a daily practice. Like 10 minutes 5 times a day. Whatever suits you. You will notice it will become an automatism. You will be more aware when your thoughts kick in, and focusing on breathing will become more and more easy.
Let is be. She might reach out, or not. Don't pursue. Just be. Expect nothing. Do not have hope. Do not continuously express your feelings. That will only make her feel pressurized and will push her away.
Take care.
In a nutshell she left because her friends told her to do it. But now I feel that she's scared to talk to me about it and all of our close friends and family believe she maybe thinking of trying again but scared to approach me about it. She knows I am doing everything I can to save the relationship and I am not pushing for a definite answer. I will just enjoy the happy times we are having when we get together, especially for the children's sake until after Xmas.