Breakup but still wanting to get back
I've just breakup with my gf. We had been in 3 years relationship. Just because some stupid things that I said that I can handle everything by myself and didn't need her aid, it doesn't mean I don't want her in my life. I just wondering, is there any hope for both us to be together again?
Yes that might be exactly it .. What we say and what we mean aren’t always the same thing. And what we say and what they understand us to be saying is not always the same thing. And what we intend to communicate and how we make them feel as a consequence is not always aligned …
You say you don’t need her in your life, which might have made her feel rejected and unwanted and that’s sometimes the most hurtful feeling a partner can communicate to us. Even if that’s not what you intended to communicate that sense of rejection might be what she *felt* in that moment; and how our partners makes us FEEL is almost always a deciding factor in how any conversation goes.
Maybe try apologizing with gifts that show gratitude and appreciation. Instead of saying “I don’t need your aid, I can handle everything!”, tell her that you love and appreciate how supportive she always is, that you acknowledge she always tries her best to be a loving and caring partner. You can be independent and self sufficient while still recognizing her efforts and kindness to want to support you. There’s a gracious way to decline help that still allows the other person to feel loved and appreciated instead of rejected …
Hope the situation works out well for the both of you!
CatsInTheCradle