Break up, kids & death
Hi all I'm new here and this is my first post. I've just split from my partner of 7 years. We have 2 children ( 1 is his step child ). Thankfully the house belongs to me so no messy court process to go through. He's still living here although in a separate room until he gets somewhere. As well as that my nan is dying in hospital. I've been coping up until last night when I just felt like I wanted to die. I used to self harm and I fought the urge and ended up punching some pillows. Today I feel like there is no hope, my heart is really heavy and I just don't see the point in my life. To top it all off my mom will be moving country when my nan passes so I'm dealing with 3 different losses. I feel utterly and desperately hopeless. Any advice would be welcomed. Thanks xx
My heart goes out to you @Sandie789 as I read all that you are going through. I'm glad that you have found us and a place to share this...and a place where there will be support for you. As you say you are facing 3 losses of significant people and all in a very short time frame. This is so tough and its not surpriising that you are feeling as you are. So much loss... so much grief. For now I suggest that you are gentle with your self, try to keep simple routines going, and the children will help in this as they too need routine in their lives.And support from others is necessary at a time like this... family, friends, the community here... please ask for what you need. We are here for you.xx
@rozie
Thank you so much for your response. It was helpful. I know I'll get through this but it's almost like I want to skip the grieving process which is impossible. I feel all out of sorts. And yeah I really need to be kind to myself.... not sure how. At the moment I'm in self hate mode.
@Sandie789
Welcome to 7cups and I'm sorry that you're going through so much loss. My mom has been my best advisor and friend through my break up and I don't know what I would have done if I couldn't see her every weekend. I wouldn't know what to do facing everything you're facing. When my world came crashing down after breaking up with my partner of 7 years, I felt like everything was changing too fast. It was like I was falling and there was no solid ground to stand on, nothing for me to hold on to, no way to tell which direction I was going in anymore. Let yourself grieve each loss. It's so exhausting to try and stay strong and I know that with kids there's always the urge to hide what you're feeling and keep your composure. But you need to grieve, maybe while the kids are in school or at a friend's house, just so you don't have to fight yourself for a little while.
It's so much harder to feel any joy when every part of your body is in pain, but do things to care for yourself. Eat your favorite food, watch your favorite movie, listen to your favorite music. If you need to, take time off to just lay in bed. Most of all, don't try to go through this alone. Be with friends and family and let the people who want to help you carry you through this. Even if you can't see your mom, call her or e-mail her everyday until you don't need to anymore. And when there's no one else around and you just need some company to get you through the night, we're here to listen and support you.