Broken marriage
I have been married for four and a half years. He struggles with being honest and transparent with me about little things just as smoking a cigarette or hanging out with his friends.. I used to go to church but when the pendemic hit, we started backsliding and started drinking again. He would sneak out after I was asleep and go hit up the bars and stay out until 3:00 a.m.. I was worried because I don't want him drinking and driving. I just found out yesterday that it's much worse than that. It goes to bars and flirts with women and tries to sleep with them. He hugs all these women repeatedly asking for hugs. Bartender told me everything. She said that he came over to their house for a party and he took off his wedding ring and was trying to hook up with two girls. He went to the bar the other night I asked my aunt to go over there and bring him home and he smelled like perfume on his jacket on his boxers. I asked him if he cheated on me and he said no but I don't believe him because he's lied in the past. What do I do from here? What am I supposed to do
My ex husband was similar in that he would lie and hide what I perceived to be little things. Like yours, smoking. Drinking. He would lie about what he ate for lunch in casual conversation. He was, IMO, a pathological liar. My logic is that if they lie about something harmless, what else do they lie about? I could go on and on with my story and all the lies. Mine also projected - he would accuse me of things that he, himself, was guilty of. End of the day, your instincts are telling you something. If you don’t have trust, and it sounds like you don’t and for good reason, I think you both need to acknowledge that and work on it. Otherwise, you’ll continue to feel hurt and betrayed and this won’t move in a positive direction. Good luck!!