Broke up with boyfriend

I broke up with my boyfriend of five years a few days ago. A part of me is desvastated -- he was my best friend and I wanted us to be together. He's a wonderful person. He's caring, funny, incredibly intelligent, sensitive. We could talk for hours and hours and we had the best of times. Some of the best times of my life I spend with him.

But love is not enough to sustain a relationship, unfortunately.

We're in our early thirties now and I'm dying to do more things with my life. I want to travel, have a place of my own, live in a place with better opportunities, and I had hoped that evetually we'd be ready to do all that together. Unfortunately, he's nowhere near ready for that. And it's not his fault. He's been struggling with mental health problems for a few years and he's focusing on recovery.

I had been putting these dreams on hold until he was ready to take the next step in our relationship. But over the last few monthts I started feeling restless, impatient, like I was giving up so much for someone who probably wouldn't do the same for me. Throughout our relationship, he would tell me things like his job was more important to him than anything else (even our relationship), or that I could make my own plans without him if I wanted to.

So my choice was to continue putting my plans on hold for this relationship with someone who, even though caring and loving in our everyday life, didn't seem to give too much thought about a long-term plan for us the same way I did.

I understand he can't make plans now that he's recovering (he was hospitalised very recently and is working very hard to get himself back on track,) but for how much longer was I supposed to wait?

Also, it's not fair to him that I keep expecting him to be different. At this point in his life, he is what he is and has his own struggles. But I do feel selfish, like I'm abandoning him when he needs me.

Anyway. I just miss him. When something happens to me my first thought is to tell him all about it, and then I remember I can't. I want to know how he's doing, how he's feeling. We didn't end on bad terms and if it was up to me I'd go grab a cup of coffee with him today, but I think he needs some space and maybe getting in touch with him so early could send him mixed signals.