Can a relationship work if someone is seeing other people during a break??
I've been in an almost 5 year relationship with a narcissist, basically dealing with verbal and emotional abuse pretty much since the beginning. The main issues are constant false accusations of infidelity, insults, name calling, degrading comments and threats of ruining my life and taking my children away. I had asked this behavior to stop for years, and finally after I'm simply blamed 100% by my partner who says he stands by everything he's said and that if I think he did any wrong I'm crazy, I ended the relationship. We had several times of trying to get back together only for the same behavior to happen again after a couple days time and I realized I needed to get away from the unhealthy destruction we had. We also have 4 kids involved (his daughter from a previous marriage, that he's still technically legally married to...another long story, my daughter from a previous relationship, a son from the two of us and one son on the way from him as well).
So I ended our relationship, we still live in the same apartment sleeping in two separate beds and hardly talking at all. Recently he began telling me he misses everything about us, desperately wants things to work but doesn't know if it will and loves me. So I offer to work things out through counseling. But he has already begun talking to and has kissed another girl and is wishy washy when I ask if he plans to see other people while we work on us. I have no plans on talking to anyone else.
@Patchesducky Sounds like your story is more complex than just seeing other people. It seems as if the relationship was emotionally draining for yoiu to the point of being toxic, and you're very brave for wanting distance. Remember, you can always leave, there is no compulsive. Once you set your mind to something, you will always figure out aa way. That being said, since I can't give advice because it's your life and you'd know how to handle it best, I'll just answer your main question- if the cause of the break was amicable, and we both needed distance, I'd think seeing other people was fine (never had a break, don't think they help actually). But yes, if I were living with him under the same roof, then I'd actually watch the person I love getting cosy with someone else, and I wouldn't like that. There's no watertight answer to your question, because the situation has many layers. Above all, it doesn't matter what I or anything else thinks is normal- what matters is whether it affects you and right now, it looks like it does.
You are very very brave for doing this, and I wish you all the best. Feel free to dm me in you want to talk :-)
