Cheating
Please help me decide, I need every piece of input that I can recieve. Two days ago, I cheated on my boyfriend of almost 3 years. I was drunk and wasn't thinking but I know there's no excuses or changing it. I know the right thing to do is to tell him because if he were to cheat on me, I would want to know. But I planned on breaking up with him in a couple weeks or so. He is such a caring and heartfelt guy it's going to be so hard to break up with him but even worse to tell him I cheated. Because I'm going to break up with him, should I just not tell him and save him the despair and heartbreak? Or is it just the best thing to do because I truly feel obliged to tell him. I'm just not prepared at all with breaking up with him yet...
I would say that since you have plans on leaving him anyhow, and that will be enough pain and rejection for him to deal with, I would not make things even more painful by telling him. If you plan to stay together than that is a different story. If you are really going to leave him, don't make it anymore painful than necessary.
@KateB99 This might be a totally different take on your situation, but
Does he own you? Did you promise to never have anything to do with other men? I'm not even sure cheating is the right word for someone who's not formally married. The more important thing here is that you plan to break up with him. I don't get why you say you plan to break up in a couple of weeks. If you know you don't want to keep seeing him, the honest thing to do is tell him you think the two of you should part. You don't need to tell him you were with someone else, unless you're trying to make him jealous or keep stringing him along for some reason. Whether you stay together or go your seperate ways, there is no reason to tell him about the "cheating". Just tell him you want to see other people and, with any luck, you can stay friends. You never know when you'll need a friend.
@10ship I appreciate your view on my situation and understand. You're right, he doesn't own me at all but I think I feel comfortable with him since I've been with him for so long & he was my first with many things. I plan to break up in the near future because a time like right now would add too much unneeded stress on both him and I, plus I don't feel ready or prepared to see him upset. Although I care about his wellbeing I don't feel satisfied in many other ways where I feel I should be. I think I'll eventually tell him I would like to see other people and end it soon. Thanks for the response.