Complicated Relationship
Im currently going through a break up that has been complicated. We broke up because we argued a lot and because he had personal issues that he wanted to work on and be able to grow before entering back into a relationship. After we broke up, things became confusing because one minute wed be showing affection for each other and the next would be arguing about how/why were not in a relationship. I want to let him grow and let myself grow but I also want the relationship and feel most of the problems wont get fixed if he doesnt start thinking about a relationship. Right now I feel upset, confused, and empty and just dont know what to do.
@nsf227
He's doing the right thing. Might not seem like it to you, because you want him around.
He is being honest with you. He told you straight forward, that hey I have problems so I need time to work on myself.
Think about it, what's the point in being in a relationship if you have unfinished business with yourself? if you feel miserable?
If you really care about him you have to let him go.
I know is easier to be selfish and say "but I could help him!" or "but I want him around!", but in the end the relationship would fall appart out of pressure and someone being unhappy.
A relationship only works with honesty , respect and happiness. If he's feeling unhappy about being in a relationship, he has all the right to move forward and focous on himself.
Your feelings are 100% valid. Is ok to feel upset and empty. But think that this will be the best for the future.
In terms of cuddling and such, just don't. I get that in his mind he doesn't want to let go because he loves you, yet he argues because he knows the best is just to move forward. So don't feed that mentality. Just say "look we broke up for a reason. You said you wanted to get better, and it isn't fair for you or me us cuddling. It awakens feelings".
Best of luck.
I just wanted to revive this thread because I need advice. I had a complicated relationship that ended in a breakup, then two months went by and we seemed like we were trying to fix things. We were lovey dovey, not really arguing, just seemed good. Then I started asking for him to fix things that were wrong with our relationship in the first place so he could start putting effort in like I was and I was shot down. He told me that he didn
