Confused
Hello all,
I'm new and could use some advice. My gf broke up with me a few days ago and it has left me broken. Not really sure what to do with myself as I've been feeling miserable since and have had insomnia, which isn't helping either. I'm torn because part of me wants to do all the cliche 80s movie grandiose gestures to try and get her back but another part of me wants to give her time and space in hopes she will come back.
@intuitiveOwl5718 did she say why she broke up with you? i am sorry to hear that it didn't work out hopefully your next gf won't break up with you happy holidays
@kitkat34567 she said there was things that could potentially be issues and she didn't want either of us to end up resenting the other.
@intuitiveOwl5718 yeah that can be hard to hear i am sorry
Honestly in my opinion-- and again this is my opinion I think that you need to give her space and let her think things through and everything like that. Talk to her when she messages you or go out of your way and see what she wants after you're done giving her space, Ask her if she still wants to be in this relationship.
It really doesn't hurt to ask if this is really over or not, and if it is I think that you should try to move on.
@intuitiveOwl5718
@intuitiveOwl5718
I'm just chiming in to say follow the waiting path. I tried the grand gestures. They did not work. I tried divulging all of my real, heartfelt feelings and thoughts. That also did not work. I regret NOT playing the waiting game. I could very well be in a better situation now if I did wait and approach things more chill. And wait a sufficent time. Not even a week in and I was freaking out.. do your best to give like two weeks or more of space and time.
Good luck!
I appreciate the support from everyone. I've been trying to hold it together but internally I've been freaking out. I'm trying to wait and give her time and space and a chance to miss me but how long do I wait? I have no idea how I'm gonna begin a conversation or what I'm gonna say.
@intuitiveOwl5718
Wait at least a few weeks. (Some people would say never contact, that it's on her, but I believe since a relationship is two people, both sides are allowed to miss the other and fight for it, at least until there is a hard, definitive, this is the end line drawn). Believe me, I know the exact feelings you are going through. I was physically rocking back and forth on a couch saying "I'm not OK" over and over at about two weeks in, and that WAS with me reaching out every other day, and getting zero in return. I was not being chill and giving space like I should have. So yeah, wait as long as possible. The way I see it now, everytime I said something to her, I was resetting the 'missing you' meter, and incrementing the 'annyoing you' one. I don't know if my situation is recoverable but I'm trying to remain hopeful for the future. I also did a few gestures, which maybe not 'grand' were quite thoughtful I think, and they also got me nowhere, so chill is the name of the game these days I guess.
No help on the words to say since I'm terrible at that and quickly jump into the deepend head first.
@purpleSail7825
I understand jumping in the deepend head first. I'm usually calm and collected (the kind of person that remains calm and collected no matter what is going on our happens) but with this girl sometimes I end up babbling like an idiot.
@intuitiveOwl5718 i would give it like maybe 6 months if she doesn't have another boyfriend by then some people rebound after a relationship i had one once but it only lasted 3 months.
@kitkat34567
6 months seems so far away, right now I'm just trying to get through 1 day at a time. Also, I'm scared that if I wait too long she will have completely moved on and I will have missed my chance.
@intuitiveOwl5718 all you can do is wait till this passes over it will get better over time just distract your self in the mean time.
@kitkat34567
I'm trying to distract myself but it's hard cuz there's only so much cleaning and self distracting I can do before memories and thoughts start creeping back in.
