Contemplating a break up..
Hello all :) I'd like to start off by saying I'm new here and came to 7 cups because I'm really struggling with a decision and I don't know who to talk to...
I am in a relationship of 5 years and we have a child together. I have 3 children from a previous relationship who love my partner and even call him dad.
My partner has some serious anger issues, he's gone as far as punching the walls and breaking stuff when we argue and has said ugly and disrespectful things while mad. I would like to point out that he has never laid a hand on me or my children. After the fact he always apologizes and says he wants to be better. I've tried to help him for 5 years. I feel so exhausted. I'm mentally drained. I want him to be better but idk what to do. Last week I told him I need a break, that I couldn't do it anymore. His response was that he won't accept a break, we either break up or we fix our relationship. He got sad and upset and went on about if I leave he has nothing and I have everything because I have the kids. I feel bad. Really bad. I love him, and I want him to be better. I don't want to split because of my kids, they deserve a family.
So I'm still here, in the relationship, but I feel stuck between a rock and a hard spot. I don't want to be the bad guy and I don't want to tear him apart. Do I keep trying?
I'm in a similar situation. I ended up giving him an ultimatum:. Talk to a therapist, go to anger management, or get a divorce It won't get better without help
Get out!!! His anger issues will only get worse if he’s not getting help. Verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse. As women we need to stop fixing “him” and respect ourselves.
He needs help. I used to get angry too, not often but devastating when I did. Never learned how to express my feelings, you try, feel misunderstood (having a partner who replies by defending and justifying her behavior doesn't help), you get frustrated and emotions take over. I dealt with it, and no more angry bouts. He has to work on it. Takes time, and above all the will to acknowledge and the will to change. So, give him a choice like, deal with it or get out
Take care.