Deciding whether to stay or go...
My boyfriend and I love each other so much. We've been together 2.5 years and do picture ourselves together long term. His dad died when he was 13 and his mom is horrible and in the last year has treated him horribly. We had been on a path to marriage and kids and now he's saying he isn't sure he wants kids bc he feels so messed up from his mom... I KNOW he doesn't mean this but I can't hold on to just that feeling. I'm almost 40 so I can't wait forever.... but I don't want to be with anyone else. Sigh...
Hi @Aruba0011
I'm sorry to be hearing about your difficulties with your boyfriend. As you said, you know he doesn't mean it and is probably just caught up in his emotions so bad at the moment that he is just confused. Having a troubled upbringing can have terrible effects on the people in their adulthood and thats why it's important that they have a network of support and feel like they can express themselves to people without being judged. Expressing yourself well can lead to suppressed emotions being worked on and overall a happier perspective on life.
Try and stick around for your boyfriend as he does need support and help.
If you need anyone, listeners are available 24/7 therefore don't hesitate to contact them. Wish you well:)
@TheresHope16
thank you! It's tough to not focus on it all the time and worry that maybe he isn't going to turn around. Any recommendations on how to help bring out his suppressed emotions?
@Aruba0011 it can be challenging to bring out these suppressed emotions if he isn't willing to cooperate. The best and probably most effective way is to get your partner to open up to you. Make him feel comfortable with you and trust you so he can talk to you without feeling bad. Being patient and empathetic can also be very helpful. Listening to him and showing him you're there for him is usually a good point to start.
@TheresHope16
thanks. I'll keep on trying. I just don't want to wake up in 5 years and regret sticking around if he really doesn't want kids.... but I'm gonna keep on trying for now
