Divorce

I'm sorry you have been going through some hard time, divorce is without a doubt very stressful and difficult.

Have you tried ti talk to her again after dhe requested divorce, maybe she has been losing hope and needs reassurance that things could work out?

Do you see hope in the relationship to feel the ability to continue toward a successful relationship? If you do, please don't stop trying.

If she still loves you she will change her mind and try to work harder with you.

I hope it will work out for both of you and you be happy again.

Thank you for your response. Of course I want to try and make things work, but also want to respect that she may need some space. I’ve expressed my eagerness to give the marital counseling a shot, but she said if we were to go back it would be more to “close things out” as opposed to get us back on track. she is strong willed and does not like to be pushed into doing something. She’s expressed the fact that she wants to see her family and because she works from home, She wants to visit for an extended period of time. I’m trying to be respectful of her wants and needs. She told me that she still loves me very much, and I told her that I love her.

That's tough, man. I'm in the same boat right now. Try and keep your chin up, and use your support system. I'm using mine a lot, and it's needed.

We got this.

I can relate.

Love in itself is not enough. And apparently something has made your wife decide to file for divorce. She might want to share with you why, she might not share. It doesn't matter. All you can do is to respect her decision. And if she does come up with a reason, just say "I understand".

Marriage counseling when she has already decided is pretty useless. Marriage counseling does not focus on "fixing" your marriage anyway. If there is some sort of rift that occurred, and both of you want to reconnect, come close, marriage counseling might help. It depends.

My wife and I started marriage counseling in April this year. Although there was quite a lot of damage, my wife wanted to try to start from scratch. She believed in it. Things happened, not on purpose, yet they happened. So my wife saw only one option, file for divorce.

I am the love of her life, and vice versa. We both know. Yet she filed for divorce, even though she trusts that I will deal with what made her decide to file. Does she want to divorce? Yes. It is not a matter of insufficient love, there is love in our house to feed the whole town we live in with love. She chose for herself, her well-being.

We are both beyond heartbroken. Still the decision stands. I understand and I respect. All I can do is to keep on fighting and defeating my own demons, for me, myself and I. Try not to let them out, live in the present and be kind, gentle and loving. To my self, and to my wife.

So, take time for you true self. Don't let emotions take over. Move on, grieve, and if you can't let go yet, take your time to let it in and let go. Do not think about the future. You might never see her again or hear from her again. She might become a close friends. She, well, there are many options. Point is, you don't know. And thibking about what you don't know is self-torturing and a waste of energy. Rather use this to get in touch with your true self. Some call it "inner child", others call it "being". It's just a matter of not listening to your thoughts, but listen to your heart itself. You will feel when you listen to you heart, and likely get rather emotional, especially when it is all new to you.

Use all sources you have. Mindfulness helps me, and things like Tai Chi, taking pictures, and trying to be there for people asking questions in this forum (it is therapeutic too so win-win).

Take care, and warmth and love to both of you.