Divorce
I have been with my wife for almost 13 years, married for almost 12. We have a beautiful intelligent daughter together and we co- parent very well.
However, our connection has been lacking for the last few years. Even after therapy and trying to work through many things, I feel that our marriage is not worth saving. She even suggested divorce a couple years ago before therapy and I'm slowly realizing I should have just given it to her. Long story short, I barely feel like I exist except when it is convenient for her. She refuses to make time for anyone, including herself, and plays the martyr when she's overwhelmed with all of the extra shit she puts on herself. I stopped feeling sorry for her years ago. Now, I feel like I've just stopped feeling for her.
My biggest fear is starting completely over financially. I may end up having to switch jobs because my current job just simply won't cover the bills. The sad part is this is the first job I've had that I can honestly say I love. I look forward to going every day.
If anyone has been through a divorce and has any pointers, it would be appreciated. Right now, nothing is decided. I'm still working things out in my head. Emotionally, though, I already have one foot out the door.
You'll be alright you have many years ahead of you and your daughter wants you to be happy I'm sure she'll be sad but in time she'll understand were always here for each other that's all we can do all we really have is eachother
My parents got divorced when I was 3 years old, and even after they got divorced they still fought a lot because of me. As a child I didn't understood what was going on, it was like the Cold War and the only thing that I knew was that the two people that I loved the most were fighting a lot. Now I realized that this messed with my head and I don't feel truly comfortable with open my self to them even knowing that they love me.
So if you and your wife want to get a divorce it's totally fine and normal, but please put your daughter in first place! It will be a really big change in her life, everything that she used as a base (her family) will be changing. I don't know her age but I know what it will feel.
Im currently going through a divorce and yes finances are one of the most confusing things about it all. Obviously the divorce rules are different all over the world. You can still be excellent parents but not be together. Find ways to work together for your daughter adn everything else will fall into place.
there are lots of emotions to work through and a massive sense of loss even if the marriage has actually been over for a while. its a whole new life being on your own after so long putting someone else first. you need to take this time to look after you and start deciding what you want for your own future.
I couldn't understand completely, however I do know that you have a child. You should try your hardest to work things out with your wife, if not for yourselves, then you must do it for your daughter. The best thing parents can do for their child is love each other, this I understand completely. Your happiness, whether you know it or not, rubs off on your daughter, and so does your wife's happiness. Try and work things out, really give it your all. We all need to make sacrifices in life, even if you don't have any emotions towards your wife anymore, at least try and stay together, for your child, as long as possible.
I can totally relate and I hope u figure out something. Finances are what keeps me in my marriage. My husband and I have been together 12 years and now that our teens are almost out of the home. I have come to realize somewhere along the line we lost each other. We were so busy being parents that we forgot to focus on one another. The thought of starting over terrifies me so I think that plus the finances is what keeps me here. But reading ur story helps me realize that I am not alone in this and that it is actually more common than I thought. Good luck to u in whatever u choose to do. If I were u however I'd keep the job I have as it's always hard to find one u love. I'm sure u can figure out some way to bring in extra income. Do odd jobs on the side or something.
