Divorcing his potential
Hi everyone! I have been with my husband for 6.5 years, married almost 5. When we got together he was so patient, so caring, compassionate toward others and an all around amazing man. Shortly before we got engaged he became very lazy and started calling in to work regularly while I was working from 7:30am to 11:00pm which nearly ruined our relationship. I was ready to call it quits because he was proving to me that he wasn’t willing to do the work to provide for our family and was having more fun laying out of work regularly. Things got better and we got engaged and then 2 months later we were married. Over the past almost 5 years, he has became negative toward people around us, making comments about people constantly that are very cruel, still wants to call off work any chance he gets (and we have a child now), gets very upset if anything goes wrong at all, like our tire blowing in the car or his phone taking a second too long to load or him forgetting a password. When he gets upset like this he begins cussing and loses his temper. I have tried for years to help with this and even began taking care of all of our bills and all of the banking stuff and any grocery shopping meal preparation and basically everything that’s necessary to keep our home functioning in order to not see him lose his temper and begin cussing over what I see as the smallest issues. I’ve put up with this to the point it is bringing me down and I don’t know how much longer I can sacrifice my happiness for his negativity. I feel like we are headed for divorce and since telling him this he’s barely spoke to me even including when he goes to leave the house rarely saying he loves me and not kissing me bye. I feel like our marriage is over. I’m okay with that as I know maybe it is for the best but all I keep thinking about are his good qualities that I will miss if that happens…
@warmheartedLion5477 I'm sorry to hear about your marital life experience, I think a good relationship requires the joint efforts and management of two people, in my opinion, you have done a very good job, you have done what you should do, your patience and Tolerance did not get your husband's cooperation, but he became more and more selfish and unreasonable in this relationship, and at the same time had no sense of responsibility. I don't think you need to give up your heart in order to maintain a marriage. If you have done it, you can Everything you do has not changed him, then you have to give up this kind of thinking, let it end happily when it's over, I believe you will meet someone who can truly love you and understand you in the future.
@warmheartedLion5477
Hi! I've read your post and I do not think your husband is a qualified husband. You have listed so many of his defects that appear after your marriage, which from my point of view, is REAL him. All his negative personalities are part of his characteristics, and people cannot change their personalities easily. Therefore it might be hopeless to wait for him to behave better. He is also selfish in that he relies on you to manage all the family stuff. You would feel extremely tired physically and mentally. As you think of getting divorced, I could not give you advice on this. I think it should be decided yourself. I always believe people's happiness comes from themselves, not from others. So no need to expect others to do something. Wish you good luck!