Divorcing my husband
About 8 months ago, I left my husband and told him I wanted a divorce. I now live states away and we’re meeting to sign the papers next week… We had a whole family of pets together and even tried for a baby (but we came across some infertility issues). Near the time I told him I was leaving him, he actually told me he didn’t want to try for a baby anymore because he wanted to live his life to the fullest before having kids. Mind you, we were together for 6 years, had a house and pets, and were financially stable to the point where I didn’t have to work and we could do what we wanted without having to worry about funds. This really hurt me because I had been through a lot. It felt like I was on my own after trying month and month again for a positive test. Another reason I wanted to leave was because a lot of times, my husband expressed his feelings with anger. He would throw things and yell, but he would never physically hurt me. I was never comfortable with this, and we talked about it multiple times, but he never changed or seemed to put an effort to change. Since leaving him, I actually found someone else and I’m in a relationship now. He’s so sweet to me, and has never yelled or even cussed at me. He’s actually been through the same stuff I have in his previous relationship, although they were never married. I love him so much… but now, I’m more sad about hurting my ex. We were together for so long and have so many memories, good and bad. I know no one can tell me that I’m doing the right thing, but how do you cope? I think the divorce is what’s best, but my life is so stressful now and I think I miss having the stability and I miss my old life… I just don’t know if I miss my husband. TLDR: I’m divorcing my husband but I miss my old life with him, just not him. How do you cope?
You go with the punches. You take it day by day, step by step. Forgive yourself for making mistakes, or for being unsure and then realize that’s exactly what living life is. So many chapters ends and new ones begin. Who knows what will be the last chapter right? You are emotional so you feel for your time with the ex. That’s good cause you learned, felt, cared. But that doesn’t mean you can’t move on like he apparently has nor tried to. Good luck !!!!!!!!
I am still considering divorce myself…if I were in your situation I would like someone to tell me that everything will be ok. Also, if you have found someone you love and stay with your new love, one day you may have the stability that right now you long for. Humans crave stability, comfort, familiarity…it makes them feel safe. But there is more to life than safety—there is love and happiness. If you believe you have found that, continue on in that happiness and love. Leave the past in the past, or may be where it’s meant to be.
You sound great, tbh. I think change is always scary, but you'll create a new life with this new person, new traditions, new routines. And eventually, you'll become just as attached to those as the old.
I might have questions for you, actually... I'm trying to move on from a relationship that wasn't working. I don't honestly think there's a way back, but I'm finding it so hard to be attracted to anyone else.
