Don
I need help! I CANT seem to shake feelings and racing thoughts in my head. I've been married for more than 15 years- have two kids- in the past few years- life changes (jobs, moved to new house), have caused my wife to change A LOT. I wanted to address some of the changes that weren't good for our marriage- led to her yelling and blaming me...? I'm so confused- have tried and tried, even (finally) got her to see counselor with me. Not effective- now she won't go back. She knows how to push my buttons- for sure- and I am quick to go negative in my own head. I truly don't feel like it's "something I've done"- but is so "fixable" IF we could work together on it. She is unwilling- unkind - and determined to separate... it's all she's willing to even talk about. I'm anxious, sad, lonely- and NEED some listening/talking/care. She has been "it" for me for years- and I have really let my friendships go over the years. Need some help, suggestions, friends to talk to- thank you.
@Plraymond237
I came on here with my own relationship troubles needing someone to talk to myself. I was just reading some stories while awaiting for my one on one Listener to respond to me.... when your post got my attention. I thought I would send you a note to let you know that you are not alone. I can't get my fiancé to listen to me or even look me in the eye ... heck, I can't even get him to look at me, period. All I know from those actions are: 1) how disrespectful it is, and 2) from all accounts ...it shows a lack of interest in wanting the relationship. It hurts so much to have it done to you & it hurts equally believing they don't want the relationship anymore. But, in all honesty ... what else can it mean?
My advice to you is for you to give her space. If, after some time and distance has gone by, she still wants to split up ... give her what she wants. I can tell you from a females perspective, she will respect you more if you give her time and distance without bothering her in between that time. A woman really respects a man who bows out gracefully and with dignity.
Love hurts.
Praying for you 🙏🏻
@willingKitten6232
Thanks for your note- I appreciate the caring. It helps, believe me.
I am doing my best towards what you have mentioned. It's super hard for me and what my feelings are telling me I need- but respecting her is not hard for me. If that is what she needs- I can do all I can towards that.
i don't know what to do for myself... it's really hard- today has been an especially down day. I'm lonely and naturally want to go to my wife... it's hurts doubly that I know she not only isn't there for me, but doesn't want that- or even care that I'm hurting. Narsassistic people are SO hard... I don't know if I can keep taking blows to my self worth like this. I love her- that I know! I just don't know if I can keep taking the blows she keep heaping on... it's really hard on me.
Thanks again for your message- I do really appreciate it. Looking forward to talking again soon.
@Plraymond237 I read this in the wife zone ...and I can hear her saying mmhmmm. Just watching you talk....
How's that "lift" lol don't mind me I'm a terrible terrible person.